Take a walk down Memory Lane
by Beatrisu
Summary: Tseng's past is revealed, little by little. Will he crumble under the massive weight of memories long forgotten? TsengxRufus. Lemon, Yaoi.
1. Remember

**Disclaimer:** _I obviously own nothing related to FF7. She and her characters belong to Square Enix._

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**Warning and so on:** _There will be OC's in this story! Quite a few of them. They will not be overly important, except from in our dearest Tseng's past. Oh, and of course is family. There may or may not be Yaoi, I have not made my mind up, however, there will most certainly be heavy angst, drug abuse, disturbing memories and the like. Get ready for an angst-fest!!! XD_

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**Chapter One:** _Remember_

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Tseng flopped down on the bed in the guestroom of his older brother's house in Kalm. He was exhausted after a long day of doing absolutely nothing. He had a vacation of sorts, to recover, as the President so nicely put it and had gone to visit with his relatives. Relatives that he had not seen in years. His brothers.

Tseng had quite a few of those, actually. As a matter of fact, the particular brother he was visiting had more or less raised him from age 6 and up. Until Ryu left to join SOLDIER, that is. Then, Ryu's twin, Tomohiro had taken over. Tseng had been happy with that, but also kind of disappointed. He had adored his oldest brother. So Tseng had decided to join ShinRa as well, when he grew up.

He sighed and wriggled around a bit to find a more comfortable position on the soft mattress. Settling on his side he let his thoughts drift to that day so long ago, when he and his brothers had huddled in the basement, seeking comfort in each other as they listened to their parents' screaming. Tseng had been 6 years of age and the middle child. Afraid, he had clung to one of his older brothers, the one who was considered third because of the first-born twins. His name was Riku and he was a safe haven for the youngsters. Tseng had held onto him as if his life had depended on it while Riku had sung soft words to him and stroked his back. The boy had been thirteen himself and quite frightened, but he still managed to set his own feelings aside for his little brothers. After all, most of them had held on to Riku that night.

The two eldest, Ryu and Tomohiro had been standing closer to the door in case their father, who'd been tossed completely off his rocker, should come in. Tseng hadn't understood why they must hide from Daddy, because Daddy loved his little boys. When he had asked Ryu about it though, the tall and gangly 14-year old boy had looked at him as if he was sad. Why would strong and awesome Ryu be sad? Was it because mother always called him her little dragon? Or was it because at times he had blue rings around his eyes because Daddy had been angry?

In later years Tseng had come to understand what had happened that night. Ryu had promptly sat him down and told him about it in his own straight forward and rather blunt way.

"Tseng," his oldest and toughest brother had said, "dad went loony on us and killed mum. He then proceeded to kick his own arse into the afterlife, if I can say so and it would do you no fucking good to hero worship him!"

Tseng had stared blankly at his oldest brother, looking at him up and down and studying his grey eyes and every line of his face. "It figures." Tseng had said and there had been no more discussions about it.

Tomohiro had, of course, gotten a bit hotheaded (as was his want) about the whole business and got into a heavy melee with Ryu. 'Fortunately they didn't use swords this time,' Tseng had thought as he watched the twins bang each other up rather badly. He had broken them up before Ryu had managed to kill Tomo. Ryu, being an elite SOLDIER, often forgot to measure his strength. It came from only sparring with other SOLDIER 1st class.

Letting his thoughts slide back to the present, Tseng picked at the comforter he had laid down on. It was pitch black, as was most of the room. The walls had a delicate beige colour, ornamented with various Wutainese markings, bidding a good night to those who honoured this house by sleeping in their guestroom.

Ryu had certainly changed a lot since he had last seen him. Matured, in a way.

'No, scratch that,' he thought as he heard the pounding of feet running up the stairs, 'Ryu will never grow up. At least he is not as immature as Reno. That boisterous prat could have gotten me killed.'

There, he had come back to the reason for his little 'vacation'. Tseng and Reno had been on a mission, as usual, when something not according to plan had happened. They had been ready to secure the entire building, where a mob of sorts had their not-so-secret headquarters. Suddenly there had been unexpected firing from the roof of the building across the street. Reno had engaged in the shooting at once, rookie as he was and hadn't thought about his partners or superiors at all. When he had taken a particularly nasty hit to his shoulder, Tseng had been forced to step in front of him and shield him with his own body. That had landed them both in the hospital, but no lives had been lost.

He mulled the happenings over as he heard his brother shuffle about in an adjoining room. Just as he was prepared to take another stroll down memory lane, a heavy knock sounded at his door and his oldest brother poked his head in. "Oy, kiddo, there's food if you are hungry. I suggest you eat a bit, even if you're not hungry. You look like a sack of bones," Ryu stated bluntly.

Tseng sighed. SOLDIERs were so unrefined in their manners. Except Sephiroth of course, but he was a different matter all together. Ryu was elegant in every way possible, despite having the manners of a SOLDIER. Bad manners at that. He smiled a little at his brother's perfectly hidden concern though. Ryu had never been a guy for nagging. He simply stated his opinions and let people deal with it. This also extended to everyday happenings and traditions, even with something as simple as eating. You'd never get any bullshit from Ryu. He didn't play like that.

Tseng made to roll over on his other side when Ryu poked his head inside again. "Your food's getting cold. I could of course, bring it up here and force-feed you, but I can't seem to think you're a little baby who needs to be forced to eat his peas and potatoes, so I'd suggest you move your ass downstairs right fucking quick, 'cause I'm bloody tired of your moping, Tseng."

Tseng sighed again, but stood up. Ryu never was a guy for bullshit, but he sure took care of his brothers. That was why Tseng had decided to visit him for his vacation and not one of the others. Ryu was simply so grounded. Oh, and he'd have ties to ShinRa there.

He followed the elegantly clad form of his older brother down the equally elegant stairway and through the delicately furnished house he lived in with a couple of his friends. Tseng never really got used to seeing Ryu in anything but his SOLDIER-garb and had therefore been shocked when he had opened the door wearing a lovely black woollen sweater and formfitting blue jeans.

Now he had been there a couple of days, mostly couped up in his room, when Ryu hadn't forced him out. He had gotten used to seeing a slightly more cultivated form of his brother, rather than the sword-wielding lunatic he was known as at ShinRa.

Tseng remembered one day, he had seen the highest ranked SOLDIERs training outside, and Ryu had been among them. He was sparring with a huge, burly guy everyone called Bear. Bear had been weilding a heavier version of the Buster Sword, because of his amazing size and Ryu had been weilding his trademark greatswords. They had been going at it for more than five minutes and not one of them ever seemed to get the upper hand. Suddenly Ryu had lunged forwards and crossed his blades, twisting his body around and kicking Bear in the face, succeding in disarming him and throwing the weapon, known as The Bearbuster, into the earth some hundred feet away.

Tseng could remember he had been mightily impressed, that is, until Sephiroth had made his appearance behind Ryu and lightly cuffed the back of his head, reprimanding him for some lapse or the other. The SOLDIERs were a tightly knit group, yes, especially the Elite, also known as SOLDIER 1st class. None of them were as close to the General as Zack though. Not one.

Tseng blinked his eyes as Ryu poked him in the ribs once again. He batted at his brother's hand, annoyed that he had been yanked out of his thoughts.

Ryu threw his hands up in the air, sighing exasperatedly. "What does a guy have to do in order to get your attention, huh?"

Tseng frowned slightly. "For starters you could try speaking to me."

Ryu raised his eyebrow at that. "You know, I was practically screaming in your ear and you didn't even blink." He gestured towards the table that was heavily loaded with all kinds of delicious Wutainese dishes. "Dinner, my lord," he said with an exaggerated bow, his long braid falling to the floor.

Tseng rolled his eyes at his brother's antics and sat down to eat, placing the napkin in his lap with delicate movements.

Ryu merely plopped down on his chair, crossed his feet and told Tseng to toss down his food, because Ryu might just eat it for him. He was starved.

And with that the SOLDIER and the TURK sat down together, both digging into their food with great gusto and practised elegance.


	2. Big, happy family

**Disclaimer:** _No own, no sue._

**Warning:** _Yes there will be Yaoi, but not overly much. I have "talked" to my beta about this, and I figured that there has too be at least ONE straight couple, if not more. Also, I decided against using Zack/Sephiroth. I wanted to try something a bit... New... In a way... Go figure._

_I feel the need to give a little intro on Tseng's brothers, even if Ryu is the only one who will have a bit of importance here. There are only a couple who will make small appearances. There are seven all in all. I'll write a more detailed one for the next chapter if y'all want me to. This will guide you from oldest to youngest._

**Ryu:** Oldest twin, oldest brother. SOLDIER. Hiplength black hair and glowing grey eyes. Age 28. Height 6'5"

**Tomohiro:** Youngest twin, hotheaded Martial Artist and businessman. Always busy. Shoulderlength black hair always in ponytail and fiery grey eyes. Age 28. Height 6'4"

**Riku:** Warm and kind, works with taking care of sick children. Has a lovely singing voice and has always been able to calm the others down.Waist length black hair, blue eyes. Age 27. Height 6'.

**Keisuke:** Model, the prettiest of the brothers by far, always gets himself into trouble because of his good looks. Junkie. Ryu is almost constantly worried and/or angry with him. Midchest length black hair, grey eyes. Age 24. Height 6'2".

**Tseng:** TURK, silent, mysterious and brooding. Dedicated to his job, great TURK and great person. Tends to get annoyed easily, mostly because of his brothers. No one knows Ryu in SOLDIER is Tseng brother and he wants to keep it that way. Midchest length black hair, grey eyes. Age 20. Height 5'7".

**Kenichi:** Studying Medicine in Wutai, married man, one son. Loves the silent countryside. Never been a very good fighter and never been very fond of fighting either. He does not talk often with his brothers, the one of the he talks the most to is Tseng. It happens once a month or so. Short, spiky black hair and grey eyes. Age 19. Height 6'1".

**Tasuki and** **Tetsuya:** Twins, youngest. Troublemakers. Both studying to become SOLDIERs with Cloud. Tasuki favours the Sword while Tetsuya likes heavy artillery. Both have ruffled earlength black hair and blue eyes. Age 16. Height 5'11".

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**Chapter 2:** _Big Happy Family._

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Ryu put down his chopsticks and looked towards Tseng, who occupied the chair opposite him. He was glad to see his sullen younger brother again. His housemates were away, in Midgar, working. They were all SOLDIERs and shared a sort of 'home-away-from-home' here. Their very own villa, where they spent their vacations. They were close friends and had been since their days as ShinRa-troopers. Strangely enough, there were even females among them. Well, one. Roka. And hell, was she scary.

Ryu was the only one of them to have a vacation at the moment. He enjoyed these silent moments away from his rowdy friends. Yes, he could be considered somewhat rowdy and wild himself. But mostly he simply enjoyed the silence, plunking on the strings of his guitar. He loved his job and he greatly enjoyed being a high-ranking SOLDIER, but he needed time alone as well. Therefore, he had been slightly disgruntled to know he would have a visitor, but it had soon given way to the joy of seeing his little brother again. Apart from Riku, Tseng was his favourite.

He knew he shouldn't have favourites among them, he loved them all equally. He was simply tired of the constant nagging and troublemaking of the younger ones. All right, Kenichi wasn't a troublemaker. All the others though... Apart from Tseng and Riku... They had been nightmares for Tomohiro and Ryu. He cleared his throat and spoke.

"So... Tseng... Not often I see you. There are those occasions at the ShinRa building when we run into each other in the halls, but... You never seem to notice me much."

Tseng started when his brother's deep voice broke the silence. He had been preoccupied with his own thoughts, as was his want of late.

"Yes, I feel that it is my responsibility to keep my brothers safe from ShinRa's clutches, so I have not mentioned you."

Ryu's eyebrows arched into his hairline. "Indeed. Need to protect us from ShinRa, huh? Jeez, Tseng."

"I know, I know... It is probably... Ah, never mind..." Tseng inspected his fingernails. They were very interesting.

"Look, little brother of mine, I have no need to be protected from ShinRa! I fucking work there, you ass! And look at me when I'm talking to ya!"

Tseng looked up at Ryu. He didn't look very angry, though his slightly rough voice sounded it. There were no traces of anger on his brother's face. There was a smirk, but no anger.

Ryu sighed. "Look, Tseng. There's no need to protect me. What, you don't want Hojo to get his hands on me or something? Seriously, that guy has probably inspected every nook and cranny of my body already!"

Tseng winced. "Too much info, Ryu. Too much info."

Ryu arched one delicate eyebrow and smiled at his brother. "It wasn't as difficult as I had expected to get you talking to me, ya'know?"

Tseng frowned. "Why would that be difficult?"

Ryu smirked. "As I heard from your rookie, Reno, you aren't a very talkative guy. You never were though. He's very intrigued, you see."

"Intrigued?"

"Indeed. What was it he said again?" Ryu squinted and bowed his head as if he was thinking and put a hand on his chin.

Tseng waited for a little while. When he started to get impatient, Ryu raised his head and drawled out with a deadpan imitation of the young TURK; "That Tseng, yo. He never talks about his family, and sure as hell he's not talking about anything else either. I even believe he's mute, and then the fucker proves me wrong when he starts talking about the job. I never figure him out."

Tseng sent a lopsided grin in his brother's direction. "Nice imitation, Ryu. You capture Reno so very perfectly. Maybe it's because you share equal lack of intelligence and manners?"

Ryu snorted. "You hardly give me enough credit, yo. I'm much smarter than Reno, ya'know. He didn't even make it into SOLDIER!"

Tseng quirked an eyebrow. "You know, that isn't saying much."

Ryu grinned at the easy banter and moved to gather the plates. When Tseng wanted to help he simply stopped him by shaking his head and told him he was a guest and guests weren't supposed to do all the shores.

While Ryu did the dishes, Tseng wandered around the spacious livingroom. SOLDIERs 1st Class had pretty generous paychecks, or so it would seem. It was deliciously decorated with black leather furniture, dark wooden tables, ornaments on the walls, comfortable rugs and loads of carpets piled on the couches. A comfortable place to live.

"So, Tseng," Ryu called from the kitchen, "any action on the romantic side of your life?"

He should've known this would come. Ryu always drew conversations in on sex or other relations on the romantic side of life. He wondered if he should lie or tell the truth. He opted for the latter.

"Well, there is this one person..." He answered, vaguely.

"One person? I thought you'd be seeing many!"

Tseng rolled his eyes at his brother. "Not everyone can be like you, you know."

Ryu chuckled at that, Tseng could hear. "So, brother, tell me about your significant other. Male or female? Looks, occupation etc.?"

Tseng blushed a bit at Ryu's bluntness. "Male." He answered.

"Name?" Ryu asked, slightly amused by his brother's lack of response on the matter.

"Look, I didn't come here to discuss my love life with you, Ryu!" Tseng put in sharply.

"Fine, fine, then you don't have to. Coffee?" Ryu poked his head out through the archway that went into the kitchen

"Yes, thank you." Tseng answered, happy that his brother didn't pressure him. He would know what to answer to that. He imagined his brother's look if he told him that his significant other was their boss' son, Rufus. The kid was 18 years old but very mature for his age.

Ryu exited the kitchen with two mugs with steaming coffee inside. He smiled and handed one to his brother and sprawled inelegantly on the couch. "Didn't know you swung that way, Tseng." He said, eyeing his brother carefully.

Tseng took a sip of the coffee he had been offered and smiled wryly at his brother. "Oh, not all are as blatantly obvious as you, or say, the General. Besides, I swing both ways. Did you know he's in a relationship with his second in command, Zack?"

Ryu snorted. "Uh, they don't. They're as close as brothers. The thought of them together is just freaking weird. And besides, I have a girlfriend, ya'know? I'm not gay. Honestly, you TURKs are clueless."

Tseng's eyes widened marginally. "What? They aren't dating? They're always hanging out with each other, hey they even live together! What do you mean they don't date?"

Ryu grinned widely, showing a straight row of pearly white teeth. "Jeez, you really ARE clueless. The fact that they live together doesn't automatically mean that they're lovers, yo! Besides, last I heard, Zack had a girlfriend. Her name was... Anna-something, I think."

Tseng looked at Ryu. Now for the big question. "You have a girlfriend? Who?"

Ryu rolled his eyes and leaned back on the couch. "The scary chick from SOLDIER. Roka. And she really is scary. I swear, when she slaps me... The last time, she broke my nose!"

"She broke your nose?"

Ryu nodded. "Yep. In three places. With a slap."

"I can't see anything on it, it's still straight as ever."

"No, Hojo fixed it."

Tseng nodded. "I see. Hojo fixed it. What does he do to you SOLDIERs anyway?"

Ryu's eyes became distant and a shudder ran throughout his body, as if the room had just dropped several degrees in temperature. "I really don't want to talk about it... Hojo is a horrible, horrible person, and I hate him. With a vengeance."

And a moment later everything was back to normal. "So, Tseng, you ready to take a stroll down Memory Lane?"

Tseng frowned at his brother's moodswings. "What do you mean by that?"

Ryu swallowed down the rest of his coffee, placed his elbows on his thighs and leaned forward. "You're helping me clean the attic."

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_Hope you're enjoying the edited version. Thanks to my beta Bleuwyn, this is getting better ;)_

_What happens next? Will Sephiroth ever get a girlfriend? You'll find out soon, stay tuned, okay?_

_Bea_


	3. Teddybear

**Disclaimer:** _Check out the first two chapters_

**Warning: **_Here comes some angst. No like, no read, no complaints. Flames will keep me warm during the cold, norwegian winternights. Reviews will boost my ego and give me more inspiration to write _

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**Chapter three:** _Teddybear _

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The attic was riddled with dust. There were old, faded cardboard boxes everywhere and Tseng sneezed when he climbed up after his brother. They opened the first box and found several of Ryu's old possesions, including kiddie-sized shinobi-gear. Ryu's childhood dream had been to join the ranks of the Shinobi in Wutai and become a Jõnin. That dream had been drained down the toilet when he had become an orphan at age 14. He, along with Tomohiro and Riku, had been forced to work hard in order to feed their younger brothers. Ryu had been trained as a Shinobi before that, but had only been able to maintain the rank of Genin. A low class ninja with no authority. He had to quit. Yes, being a Shinobi HAD brought in some money, but not nearly enough. Ryu did a lot of manual labour while Tomohiro used his brains, went to school by day and worked hard by night. Because of that, he had barely been able to stay awake long enough to even talk to Tseng and the others, and had become the distant brother, the one who worked hard, but had never been there when it mattered the most. Riku had been a catamite to one of the feudal lords and had earned good position. It had taken him away from the rest of his family, but he had earned a lot of money and sent a nice sum every month.

Ryu had been hand-picked for SOLDIER at age 15 because of his body-build and strong stature, along with his abilities to blend in and move silently. He wasn't actually the least agile person in Wutai either, and that had served him well. He had joined 1st class after two years of training and been able to grant his brothers great education.

Tseng and Ryu smiled at the image of Ryu, age 11, wandering around in his miniature Shinobi-gear "protecting" Tseng, causing great havoc and trouble. They remembered their father, wearing the traditional hakama and gi, typical for sword-weilders, picking the 11 year-old boy up and carrying him into the house, telling him to calm down while Ryu was screaming obscenities and telling his father that he would be a great ninja one day and break free as a bewildered toddler, also known as Tseng, watched, puzzled as to why his older brother, who was superb in every way, couldn't break out of the hold that their father had on him. Tseng had bitten his father's leg, causing them all to tumble and fall. It was a fond memory, causing them to break into guffaws of laughter, until both were slumped against the wall, holding their stomachs and panting, tears trailing down their cheeks.

In the next box they found some of Kenichi's doctor-toys. Even as a child, he had been overly fond of medicine and healing. He wanted to study the ancient Wutainese ways of healing, he had said. And he was probably the only one of them, apart from Tseng, who had pursued his dream ferociously, and achieved it.

At the bottom of this box, they found an old teddybear. Tseng picked him up, cradling him against his chest, carefully, so that the already frail toy would not break any further. He stroked its fur, ever so gentle, looking at the dried bloodstains covering its face and tummy.

"This is... This is..." He started, but his voice faltered, his gaze swimming with tears.

Ryu cupped his brother's cheek, stroking his high cheekbone gently and took the old, ragged toy from him with his free hand.

"Ichigo-san..." He murmured, and glanced at Tseng, tears in his mako enhanced, grey eyes. Tseng was crying. "Do you remember, Tseng?"

Tseng made a barely noticable nod and murmured that, yes, he remembered. He remembered vividly.

This was the toy Ryu had been given at age 3, and had promptly dubbed him Ichigo-san, Mr. Strawberry, for reasons only known to a three year-old boy. He had been passed on to Tseng, when Tseng had become 3 years old, with a statement from Ryu along the lines of "Shinobis don't nead teddybears."

Tseng had been so happy when he had gotten the toy from his older brother, the one who was his hero, that he hadn't wanted to be separated from Ichigo-san at all, which had led to endless needlework for their mother, seeing as he was dragged along to every place the little boy visited. Even jumping around in puddles of water after the rain, racing around in the forest, mud-wrestling with his older brother Keisuke... You name it.

The only day the toy hadn't been with him... Was that day. That terrible, terrible day.

It had started out a nice day. Their father had been away a while and had just come back. He was brooding more than usual, but that happened from time to time. What had been odd, though, had been the glint in his eye whenever he had looked at their mother. Tseng had been too young to notice, but his older brothers had, and they had relayed the story to those younger than them when they thought it was time and they had deemed them mature enough.

In the evening, Tseng had noticed that Riku and Tomohiro had been uneasy and the first mentioned had been more skittish than what he usually was around their semi-violent father. Ryu had been out, training and testing his skills with the other Genin-ranked Shinobi, and when he came home, he sensed the tension. Much heavier than usual. When the three oldest of the eight brothers found the situation becoming dangerous, they had shooed the youngest into the basement and stood outside, guarding the door.

What had happened next, according to Tomo and Ryu, had been chaotic. Riku, when asked, had gotten a slightly odd expression on his face and weaseled his way out saying he had been too afraid to look.

Tseng thought back at what Tomo had told him of that day. Ryu hadn't wanted to say anything other than "our father was a son of a bitch who killed his wife in a frenzy and then chickened out of facing the consequences by taking his own life".

"After we had sent you into the basement," Tomo had said, his face even more serious than usual (if that was even possible), "the tension got even heavier than before. Riku-chan, Ryu and I were standing outside the cellar door, guarding it, when father suddenly flipped. Do you remember that you had dropped the teddybear you got from Ryu when he picked you up and almost tossed you into the basement? Do you remember never seeing it again?" He had looked at Tseng then, gravely, watching to see if his brother understood the significance of his questions. Tseng had nodded for him to continue.

"Suddenly, father had started talking to our mother, our beloved mother, in a low, cold voice, telling her that she was a whore because of the way she had chosen, because she was a kunoichi, a female Shinobi. I remember hearing Ryu hissing in indignance at this and that I clamped my hand over his mouth because I was afraid that he would draw our father's attention towards us. Riku-chan started weeping, silently, and I ushered him into the basement, telling him to help Keisuke comfort you youngsters. Keisuke was much too young to carry that burden alone. He slipped through the door and I returned my attention towards the spectacle that was one of our parents' worst arguments yet. I had no idea how bad it would get. I nearly cried out when Ryu bit my hand. That guy has unbearably sharp teeth, you know?" At that he had smiled fondly, yet with a very sad look in his eyes.

He cleared his throat then, fixing Tseng with a level stare and continued with the grave and depressing, horrifying tale he was telling.

"Father, or should I say Itachi, moved to the other side of the table. Our mother was very delicate and beautiful, and not nearly as strong as she had been before you were born, when she hadn't been weakened by so many childbirths... He slapped her across the face, sending her into the nearby wall. He asked if she enjoyed seducing all those men to gain information. Mother answered him, telling him, begging him to believe her when she said she had not seduced anyone, she was a Shinobi equal to the males, not a seductress, but a fighter. He laughed at her and told her to keep her forked tongue behind her teeth, he wouldn't believe her filthy lies anymore. I was hypnotized by this sudden change in our father. I knew he barely tolerated some of his children, among them you, Riku and me, but I had never seen him this... angry... before. Not even when Ryu glued that shuriken to his favourite bench outside, causing him to sting his rear severely." He became silent and Tseng had to prod him to make him tell the rest of the tale.

"Oh, yes... The tale..." He took a sip of tea, but put the cup down in distaste. "I remember seeing Ryu's eyes fill with tears, as surely as my own did as well. Father grabbed a knife and pursued our mother as she crawled across the floor. He kicked her in the groin, causing her to bite down a scream of pain, but she kept crawling, trying to reach Ichigo-san, the teddybear. He started slashing at her with his knife. I couldn't close my eyes, and could sense that Ryu was seeing the same thing as I did. He slashed her while she kept crawling and begging. She bled a lot, you know. There was a grotesque amount of blood trailing behind her and staining her white kimono. He started piercing her with the knife at the moment her bloodstained hand closed around the foot of your teddybear, your beloved Ichigo-san. She was no longer holding back the choked screams of agony and I could hear Ryu choking with sobs beside me. I couldn't tear my eyes away from the scene before me, though, and could only reach out and grasp his hand. Tseng, you have no idea how glad I am that you young ones did not see this.

"Father stabbed her, again and again, and she drew Ichigo-san close, smelling him, hugging him to her chest, as if memorizing us by smelling that toy. She looked at Ryu and me, a blood dripping from her mouth, and smiled. That smile was horrible. Not that she looked evil or anything, no, not at all. That smile held all the love in the world, but it also told us that our mother, the strong and beautiful Uzuki Nanri, daughter of Mazaki, a strong and able, deceased Jõnin, had given up. That moment of realization shocked us both to the core and we huddled on the floor, in each others arms, terrified of our father's rage. Itachi's rage. Ryu was sobbing into my shoulder, and I kissed the top of his head, telling him this was just a nightmare in my silent way. I knew this was harsh reality, though." He had looked at the silent form of their brother, his twin, standing by the door in the small room of the inn in Midgar they had met at, watching the world on top of the plate snail by outside.

"Ryu, do you want to tell the rest of the story to Tseng, or should I...?" Tomo's voice had been hesitant, as if asking for approval to tell the rest of this hideous tale to their younger brother. Tseng had looked at his eight years senior brothers, trying to tell with his teary gaze that he wanted to know the rest. Ryu had closed his eyes and turned towards them, flipping his long braid over his shoulder and opened his eyes again, a lone tear trailing down his cheek. "You say it, I don't want to." He had said, quite simply, and gone back to watching the world again.

Tomohiro had swallowed noisily and looked at Tseng, worry gracing his handsome, exotic features. Features the exact image of Ryu's. They were nearly identical. When Tseng had nodded, Tomohiro told the rest of the tale.

"Father was sitting over mother's body. He was laughing, silently. I remember Ryu stiffening in my arms, his muscles so tense it's weird he didn't strain them. Then he, the guy who was supposed to be our father, Uzuki Itachi, had started sobbing. He told mother he was sorry, he didn't mean to do it, she had to wake up. He started shaking her, prying the bloodstained teddybear from her deathgrip and flinging it across the room. It landed at our feet. Ryu was staring at it as if it would sprout fangs and tentacles and eat us alive while I was staring at father. He looked at us. He looked at us, his oldest sons, the twin sons that he had been so proud of, or so he said in that moment, and told us he was sorry we had to see this. Then he sat down beside mother and slit his throat. I remember I gagged and threw up all over the floor, but strangely enough, nothing landed on Ichigo-san the teddybear. Ryu had enough presence of mind to pick the teddybear up and put it away. I don't remember where he put it, but... That's not important now... I also remember that none of us wanted to go near the bodies. Ryu shook me until I responded and then led me into the cellar.

Riku-chan was looking at us with pleading eyes and I didn't have guts to go out there again. So I stayed with you guys and let Ryu take care of showing Riku-chan what had happened. I remember hearing his heartwrenching sobs through the door, and all of you looked at me as if I knew something, pleading with your eyes... I couldn't bear it... Riku-chan was sent back into the cellar while Ryu went to get grandfather. Uzuki Haruna was a proud man, you know, and Ryu told me he broke down when he saw what had become of his only son and his wife. He helped us through the preparations for the funeral and we stayed with him until he died, a month later. Do you remember that, Tseng?" Tomohiro was sobbing now, and Ryu was still standing by the door, looking out the window, seeming as if he had retreated into some dark crevise of his mind.

He had turned around at one particularly loud sob from his brothers and Tseng could see through the mist of tears that Ryu had that slightly haunted expression again...

Returning to the present, Tseng stared up into the makoglowing eyes of his oldest brother. They were both crying because of the memory.

In between sobs, Tseng spoke.

"I always thought that you guys were with us that night, Ryu..."

Ryu smiled. A sad, sad smile.

"You know that when you are a Shinobi you learn certain tricks, right?" At Tseng's nod he continued. "Well, one of the more basic ones is creating illusions of yourself and others, allies and such. I used that trick that night, to give you all courage. You were too distraught to notice when they disappeared... I'm sorry for not telling you sooner..."

Tseng shuddered and took Ichigo-san from his older brother. He placed the old, ragged toy back in the cardboard box and closed the lid. Looking up at his older brother he pointed towards the hatch in the floor of the attic.

"I don't really want to be up here anymore. You want to go down, too?" He asked, voice shaking and strained.

Ryu merely nodded, rose and extended his hand. "Come, little brother. Let's go down and talk about more pleasant things. Such as your lover:"

Tseng gave an exasperated sigh and took his brother's hand. Together they left the attic for a cup of coffee and some idle chatting in the kitchen.

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**A/N: **_More of Tseng's past is revealed. Exciting, ne? And... Hmm... Sephiroth still doesn't have a girlfriend. Any ideas as to who it could be?_

_Stay tuned for the next chappie!_


	4. Insert Zack

**Disclaimer: **_Same as always, no own, no sue, everybody happy._

Author's notes: _This story is disturbing and because I add more characters from the original game it doesn't mean there will be less OCs. Bear with me and tell me what you don't like if there is something you don't like. Also, I'd like to thank my only reviewer. You made my day Oh, and feel free to add some of your own suggestions, I'm sort of blank right now._

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**Chapter four:** _Insert Zack_

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Tubes... There were tubes covering his entire body. Liquid green dripping from containers into tubes that were connected with his own bloodveins. Mako... It hurt... Terrible, terrible pain. He could make out a form on the table beside him. Long silver hair. Sephiroth? Oh, yes, of course... His friend didn't want him to go alone. It stung like hell. He wanted to reach out, but... Only moving his little finger hurt more than a kick to the balls. Shit... Why was his phone ringing now?

Ryu jolted awake, soaked in sweat and gasping from the livid nightmare he had. He still could hear his phone ringing, though, so he reached over and grabbed it.

"Yes?" He barked, slightly angered, but mostly relieved. He could still feel the pain.

"Wow, grouchy, are we?" Soft tenor, slightly mocking lilt to the voice.

"Zack? What the fuck do you want now, asshole?" Ryu was decidedly NOT a morning person.

"Just called to tell you that I'm coming home for a while. Been forced to take a break. I'm getting on Seph's nerves, ya see. Oh, and Aeris kicked me out."

"Hn..." He could imagine that. "Wait, what? You're coming home?" Ryu's mind wasn't slow, usually. However, he wasn't usually woken up at... He looked at his bedside watch. 4 AM.

"Yep, coming home. Won't you be happy to see me, darling?" Zack's voice was chipper as usual. Fucking morning people.

"Sure, ass. But... Ah, shit... I've got visitors... Or... Just one." Ryu placed himself back down on his bed and stretched up to grab the bars of the headboard.

"Ohhh... Broken up with Roka? Or are ya havin' an affair?" Zack's voice was slightly teasing. As always.

"Zack? Don't you have anything on your mind except sex and other people's relationships?"

"Don't worry, Ryu. I won't tell her."

Ryu frowned and rubbed his forhead. He could feel a migraine coming up. "Look, Zack, you've just woken me up from a nightmare and... Don't you think it's a little early to start bombarding me with questions and shit like that?"

"Ryu, I just called to tell you I'm standing outsite with no key to the house. It's locked and I can't get in. Could you please come down and open?"

Ryu rolled his eyes. Of course the shithead had forgotten his keys in Midgar. That only happened like... Nearly everytime he came home!

"I'll be right down, you jackass..." Ryu hung up and stretched. Ah, well. He couldn't go back to sleep anyway. He stood up and pulled on a pair of loosefitting, black sweatpants and a grey t-shirt. Scratching his head, he made his way down the stairs and over to the large oaken front-door. He could make out a spiky head through the window. Great. Just bloody, fucking wonderful.

He pulled open the door to find Zack standing outsite, smiling like an utter idiot. "Are you going to stand there all morning, or are ya going to come inside. It's fucking freezing!"

The spikyhaired SOLDIER walked past his taller friend and brother in arms and dumped his bags on the floor. "So... Nightmare? Wanna talk about it? And who's your mysterious guest?"

"Yes, nightmare, no, not right now, coffee first. And the last you'll find out soon enough. I'm not gonna tell ya." Ryu closed the door and turned around, crossing his arms over his chest and glaring gruffly at his friend. He surmised that he didn't look very intimidating, even with his superior height, due to his rumpled appearanse. He probably looked like he'd had a good tumble in the sack. However, he moved so wildly around in his sleep that he always ended up with a severely ruined hairdo. He envied Sephiroth, who managed to look perfectly intimidating even wearing PJ's. Even if he looked like a girl. He definitely did not want Sephiroth to hear that he ever thought of him as a girl though. He'd be dead in a matter of seconds.

"So... Coffee?" Zack was smiling up at him. Ryu gave no answer.

"Oy! You awake up there?" He waved his hand in front of Ryu's eyes. Still no answer.

"Fine, you asked for it." With that, Zack picked him up and flung him over his shoulder. Ryu was heavy, but nothing he couldn't carry. Zack _was _strong, after all.

"Hey, put me down, you imbecile!" Ryu said, quite amiably, really, considering the situation.

"No can do, sir. Need ta have a coffeemaker. I'm useless in the kitchen. If I hadn't roomed with you before, I'd be dead now, or living of the cafeteria-food. And thankfully, now if got Sephiroth. He's a great cook. I'll be sad when he leaves me for some chick."

"I have feet, I can walk." Ryu grumbled.

"I know you can walk. You just didn't look like you were up for the challenge back then." Zack entered the kitchen and gently put him down. And earned himself a slap across the head for his effort.

"Do you even KNOW how heavy you are? And now you slap me? Bitch!" Zack teased and extended his tongue.

Ryu grinned. He could play along for now. "Oh yeah? Is that the tone you take with me, young man? I have a pair of perfectly good scissors lying around here somewhere, and I am not disinclined to use them. I wonder how your tongue will taste, fried, with rice and sweet'n'sour sauce..." Ryu made a dreamy face, as if he was imagining the taste of the dish he had just thought up.

Zack barked out a short laugh. "Hah! I knew it, Wutainese people are cannibals!"

Ryu arched a delicate eyebrow and stared him down. Zack was still not intimidated. He needed to work on his intimidating skills.

"I'll make coffee, then. Sit your ass down and don't ruin my kitchen!"

Zack smiled as he watched his gruff (yet pleasant) Wutainese friend wander around in the kitchen, fetching the necessary ingredients for coffee. His long, silky, black hair was flowing down his back in a rumpled and tangled mass. He looked like he'd had a good roll in the sack, yes, but surmising how incredibly restless Ryu's sleep always was, he doubted that it was the case. He had tried to sleep in the same bed as him once and barely avoided being kicked in the balls, only to end up in a ball on the floor, tangled in his bedsheets. How Roka put up with him was a mystery, but then again, it was also a mystery how Ryu put up with scary, crazy ol' Roka. With her bitching and all... Man, what a scary lady. But she was nice to, if things went her way.

He mused a little as he watched Ryu dry down the counter with a cloth, and smelled the wonderful smell of brewing coffee. He knew no one who could make coffee as good as Ryu could. Not one.

He watched Ryu pour some coffee into a couple of black mugs and carry them over to the table, seating himself on the opposite side and placing his arms on the tabletop in front of him, holding his own mug. The other one had made its way into Zack's hands and he was currently sipping it, revelling in the rich taste.

"How're things over at ShinRa?" Ryu asked, breaking his train of thought.

"Good, I guess. Seph keeps fussing over failed missions and the like, as always, and the training of the recruits goes really well. We could use our stealth-trainer, though, but he has taken a break. Apparently he doesn't even miss us." Zack said, and smiled at Ryu's frown.

"So, your girlfriend kicked you out? What's her name again? Aries, was it?" Ryu sipped his coffee quietly and looked at his friend.

Zack frowned. "Her name's Aeris and she threw me out because... I don't know, and why the hell are you avoiding my question?"

Ryu smiled, took another sip and grimaced at the burn. "I still don't understand how you can drink it so hot, man."

Zack grinned widely and leaned forwards. "I will now tell you the secret as to how I can stand this."

Ryu arched an eyebrow and glanced at him. "Pray, tell me, I am dying to know..." He drawled.

Zack grinned widely again before putting his cup down on the table and leaning backwards, balancing on the hindlegs of his chair. "I'm not telling until you answer my question."

Ryu rolled his eyes. "If I answer, will you be happy then?"

Zack nodded.

"Okay. Of course I miss you guys. I mean, Roka's my girlfriend, you 'n Seph are more or less my best friends on the Planet, however... That doesn't outweigh the shit Hojo puts me through. What he puts you through. I mean, the last time Roka was there, she came out with burns all over her body and was bedridden for days. You want me to miss that?"

Zack sent a sad look at Ryu. "It bothers you that much, huh? No, I don't want you to miss that... I mean, I wouldn't either. We miss you, though, 'specially Roka, she's all nerves when you're gone, and I guess that makes Seph and me miss ya too, because she's impossible when she's all nerves."

Ryu sat back and smiled gently. "You'd better sit back down or you'll fall. And weren't you going to tell me the secret of drinking hot coffee?"

Zack smiled. "It's because I'm the hottest being on this Planet, here."

This, of course, resulted in loud guffaws, which only got louder when Zack tumbled to the ground, backwards, and landed with a huge crack. Which again resulted in a disgruntled Tseng standing in the doorway, looking pissed off into red hot fury, or maybe cold as Shiva's ass.

"Could you school-children keep it down, here? Some of us need to sleep." He grumbled and crossed his arms across his chest.

The two SOLDIERs quickly sobered and looked up at Tseng. Zack's face bore an expression of shock while Ryu wore a lopsided smirk.

Zack's eyes darted from Ryu to Tseng and back again. "You're a guy," He said, and it looked like the whole sky had fallen on his head.

Tseng sighed. "How very observant of you, Zack. Can I sleep now?"

Zack looked incredulously at Ryu. "You're gonna break Roka's heart, man! Are you out of your mind, sleeping with a guy, and Tseng no less? He's a TURK for fuck's sake!"

Ryu sighed and glanced at Tseng, who nodded, and then turned back to Zack again.

"This here is Tseng Uzuki. He's a TURK, yes, but he's also my brother."

Zack was so shocked he could barely get his wits about him. He didn't know what to say, much less what to do, and just lay there, in an undignified heap on the floor.

"You guys are like... brothers?" He exclaimed, seeming as if he could hardly understand this.

This time, it was Tseng's turn to answer. "Yes, we're brothers. And he is not the only brother I have."

Zack frowned and looked at Ryu. "Exactly how many brothers do ya have, man?"

Ryu smiled. "Seven."

"Seven?!" Zack was utterly shocked, a fact that amused the two Uzuki-siblings to no end.

"Yep, and not only that, one of them is my twin." Ryu grinned his trademark toothy grin again.

"You're a fucking TWIN?!" Zack almost roared, his expression growing more and more shocked for each new revelation.

"Yes, and if you tell anyone about this, I'm gonna pound your scrawny ass into oblivion." Ryu said, smiling pleasantly, with a voice indicating he was talking of normal day-to-day matters.

"And I shall help, dear brother," said Tseng.

Zack sighed, "Not even Roka?"

Ryu nodded, "Not even Roka."

"Okay."

Then the two SOLDIERs went back to sipping their coffee and Tseng strolled off to sleep the day away. Along with his worries.

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**A/N: **_So, here's the edited and prolonged version. Hope ya liked Also, I'd like to thank my new beta, Bleuwyn for the hard work she has been doing when it comes to correcting my insufferable mistakes._


	5. Pain

**Disclaimer-shit: **_No own, no sue_

**Warning: **_There's gonna be YAOI in this chapter. Consider your pretty little selves warned._

**A/N: **_My dear, faithful readers. I'm terribly sorry for my tardiness in updating this baby, here, but it's been hard to write this one. Please, don't kill me! Tseng is back in Midgar, along with his brother and Zack. What'll happen? Not so much angsting here, but there is gore. And a familiar Blondie-boy._

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**Chapter five: **_Pain _

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The training area was lit up by tall lamps that were powered by the mako that the Company made into electricity. These lamps were currently highlighting the cadets training on the huge field. There were several blue mats, on which the cadets were paired and stood facing each other. They were simply waiting for their trainer to give them her okay, and they would be off.

This particular area, reserved for cadets, was actually placed inside a hall, unlike the SOLDIERs' training field, that was exposed to the elements, simply because the SOLDIERs were enhanced and not quite as sensitive to the elements as the cadets were.

This hall, that was currently occupied by excited trainees, was surrounded by a high-placed tribune of sorts, only, there were no seats. This tribune was also fenced, so those who were watching had something to lean against, and would not fall off. However, considering those who mostly watched, there wasn't really a big risk if they fell. They could take such a hit. Most likely, they'd even be able to save themselves and land softly on their feet. Today, the tribunes were unoccupied.

Roka looked over her cadets, inspecting their fighting stances, walking around and encouraging those who needed it. She corrected mistakes and instructed them on what they had done wrong. When she was satisfied, she took her place at the centre of the circle of mats and gave her okay for them to start sparring. She watched every pair in turn, satisfied that they were getting better.

Her gaze landed on a pair of mismatched trainees. One of them, a rather tall and burly, barrelchested fellow, had simply placed his hand atop the head of his much shorter partner and was apparently taunting him. The much shorter blonde was trying to wriggle free and get a hit at his partner, but to no awail. How had she missed this? These two should not be sparring, they should both have been placed with opponents that matched their size.

She looked around the hall.

Apparently, the kid was the only one of his size. As she approached them, the kid was pushed back. His blonde spikes were ruffled and he was glaring ferociously at the much bigger bully.

"Hello boys," she said, her light voice pleasant and soft.

They jumped up and saluted. "Hello ma'am!"

She looked them over. The bully seemed sort of irked that this diminutive woman had a higher rank than him, she was a SOLDIER 1st class, and he looked like the kind of guy who meant that women didn't even belong outside the kitchen. The kid, who was actually taller than her, simply stood there, gazing intenly straight forward, trying his best to look impeccable.

"At ease, cadets," she said to them, and they both lowered their hands. She walked onto the mat and stood in front of them.

"What were you doing just now, cadet...?" she asked, searching for a name.

"Daniels, ma'am," he answered, voice slightly trembling. From laughter or fear, she did not know, even if she was rumoured to have a foul temper.

"Okay, cadet Daniels. What were you just doing to cadet...?" She directed her gaze to the small blonde beside Daniels.

"Strife, ma'am." His voice was clipped as he spoke, obviously angry.

'Hmm... Feisty fellow. I like that,' she though to herself.

"Thank you, Strife. Now," she turned to face the much taller teen in front of her, "what exactly was it you were doing, cadet Daniels?"

"I was blocking his attacks, ma'am," he said, grinning to himself, apparently thinking he was funny.

"You are aware, cadet, that the "move" you were just practicing would have no effect in a real fight?" Roka crossed her arms in front of her chest and frowned at cadet Daniels. This made the cadet a little nervous and he promptly looked down to study his feet.

"Look at me while I am talking to you, cadet!" Roka more or less growled this, causing said cadet to stand up straight and shiver. "Good, now answer my question."

"Yes, ma'am, I am aware of that, ma'am," he said, voice a little shaky. For a tiny little woman, Roka was quite intimidating.

"Good. I want you to ponder this for a while. Cadet Strife?" she looked at the spiky-haired teen, who suddenly seemed to shrink a little. He was afraid.

"Y-yes, m-ma'am?" he stuttered, voice a little squeaky, from fear or simply growing vocal cords, Roka did not know.

"I want you to come with me."

With that she turned around and stalked out of the hall, expecting the teenager to follow.

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Outside the mako-treatment rooms to one doctor Hojo, there was situated a small waiting room. Usually, there were not many there, mostly some odd group of troopers coming for check-ups, and also being tested for mako-compatibility.

This evening, the room was more or less crowded with SOLDIERs 1st class. Even the General, Sephiroth was there. He was pacing the floor, while some of his comrades were either sitting on the benches lined up against the wall, or leaning against the wall. Sitting on the bench in front of which Sephiroth was pacing sat three SOLDIERs. Their names were Zackary Jaden Andrews, Ryu Uzuki and John "Bear" Atkins. They were worriedly glancing at either the General or the door.

Ryu was mostly watching the door, wondering where the hell his girlfriend was. Bear couldn't figure out who he worried most about, while Zack was more or less glaring holes in Sephiroth's head.

"Seph, quit the pacing already, it makes me feel queazy," Zack stated, rather rudely, but they were all accustomed to that by now.

"If something as small as me pacing gives you a nervous stomach, I suggest you quit your job and start training chocobos instead, Zackary."

Ryu chuckled. "Well, at least that would mean you'd be hanging around people with the same amount of brain-cells as you, Zack!"

"Yeah, at least I would be able to have more intelligent conversations with them than I have with amoebas like you, Ryu." Zack stated flatly, turning his not-so-fearsome glare at his best friend.

Ryu raised his hands up in defeat. "Touché, love."

And they were back to staring. Sephiroth continued his pacing.

After a couple of minutes both the door from the hall and the door leading in to the mako-treatment rooms opened simultainously. A nurse clad in white with green stains on the hems came out with a clipboard and called out Ryu's name.

In through the other door walked Roka and a very scared Cloud Strife. The tension was quite thick, and you could more or less cut it with a knife.

Ryu nodded at Roka, sending the cadet behind her a curious glance while he stood up and walked into the room. The door closed behind him and everyone let out a relieved sigh. At least this time, he didn't freak out.

"I just hope he's gonna be fine..." stated Bear, frowning at the door as if it would reveal some hidden secret.

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Tseng was glaring holes in the walls of his office. He was angry. The orders he had gotten for the TURKs were simply put; W-R-O-N-G!

How could they, a stealthy unit, barge in somewhere and initiate a major melee? They were all long-range fighters! Used with guns and suchlike. They weren't trained to fight melee! Okay, he was, and probably Rude, too. They all had the basic outlines down pat, but still! That was SOLDIER's base! And everyone at ShinRa knew that SOLDIER and TURK stayed out of each others fields. Geez! Could it really be that hard to get?

Tseng sighed and rubbed his forhead, sipping his cup of coffee. He felt like he was growing old much too fast. When there was a knock on his door, he more or less gave up concentrating and said; "Come in, for fuck's sake!"

Now, Tseng was not one to swear. Not at all. But he was agitated and frustrated and needed to vent. Afterwards, he'd walk down to the TURK training-centre and beat the brains out of some random, unfortunate training dummy.

The door opened and Tseng looked up. Seeing Rufus, he sighed wearily.

"Close the door behind you, please, sir."

Rufus closed the door and walked over to sit on Tseng's desk.

"You look tense, Tseng. Want me to... help you relax?" Rufus let a teasing smile grace his sweet features. Tseng simply let his head drop down on his desk with a loud thunk.

"Not right now, or here, Rufus... I... I don't know, I just... Argh!" Tseng said, as if talking to his desktop. Rufus leaned forwards slightly so he could hear him better.

"What's the matter, babe?" he asked, worry pretty much evident in his voice. Rufus was very young, and he hadn't had to work too much as of yet. He had been trained to kill, yes, without hesitation, but in some aspects of life, he was still rather naïve.

Tseng sighed and looked up from his slumped position. He smiled lovingly at his boyfriend and reached out a hand to touch him. Rufus grasped his hand in his and rubbed the knuckles lovingly. "It's okay, you can tell me what's wrong, honey." He said, making Tseng smile even wider.

"I've got a better idea," said the TURK and stood abruptly. He walked closer and stood between the younger man's legs. Leaning in, he brushed his lips against Rufus', softly, gently, lovingly. He didn't want to talk about this. He'd discuss it with Ryu later. He was a high-ranking SOLDIER, he'd know what'd happened.

He felt hands tangle in his hair and deepened the kiss, no open mouths yet, just pressing his lips firmer against the petal-soft ones of his lover. He smirked slightly at the soft moan this elicited from the blond, and making up his mind, he licked at Rufus' bottom lip, asking permission to slip inside.

The blonde obliged happily, loving the feeling of Tseng's tongue stroking his own languidly. He pressed himself closer to Tseng as he felt the throbbing need in his lower regions grow more... intense, and could feel that Tseng was pretty hard himself.

Tseng felt the need to breathe and drew away from Rufus, smiling when he saw that his lover's eyes were slightly dazed and moved to lick a line from his chin to his earlobe. He felt Rufus squirm against him and smiled wickedly.

Straightening up, Tseng pushed Rufus back so that he lay completely on top of his tidy desk. He then proceeded to place himself on top of the vice president and kissed him again, this time a tad bit more heatedly, as he ground his groin into that of the younger blond lying beneath him.

Rufus tugged at Tseng's tie, growling in frustration when he couldn't remove it. Seeing the need in Rufus' movements, Tseng decided to help him and quickly discarded his tie, jacket and shirt, promptly placing himself on top of the squirming blonde once again. Just then, the door opened and Reno strolled inside, all cocky and pleased with himself. Only to stop frozen when he saw the scene on the desk.

"Wooooah, guys, what the hell are ya doin'?!" he exclaimed, shutting the door quickly.

Tseng sighed and jumped off the desk, leaving a dishevelled Rufus Shinra on top of it. He sighed as the young blond sat up and looked, mildly aggravated, at the usually cocky redhead.

"What. Do. You. Want?" he stated, voice low, calm and obviously (at least to the redhead) completely pissed off.

"Err, heh... I came to tell you... Heheh..." Reno stuttered, grinning sheepishly.

Tseng interrupted him with a growl. "Just state your business and get lost!"

"I finished the assignment..?" Reno squeaked, sounding pathetic and as scared as he was.

Tseng sighed. "Fine, you may leave."

Reno turned to do just so, but was stopped short when his hand reached for the doorknob.

"But just so you know... If word ever reaches me that any other than the three of us has this knowledge of Rufus and me... You are... Retired." Tseng's voice was cold and low, and positively malicious. It made Reno gulp down a breath and nod, feeling slightly weak in the knees.

"Good. I am glad we have reached an understanding."

Reno walked out of the door to Tseng's office that day, wondering how on Gaia Tseng managed to look so scary wearing only his pants.

--

Zack was nervous. Ryu had been in Hojo's care for hours, now, and Roka was fidgety. Hell, even that rookie-kid she had dragged along was fidgety. Maybe because of all the fidgety... Hey, that blond kid was kinda cute...

Fuck, he had a short attentionspan. Sephiroth seemed nervous too. Ryu being in Hojo's care for this long never boded well. With any of the parts included. Ryu when angry was just plain scary. And most certainly having to endure Hojo for this long would make him pissed of as Hell. He'd probably rage around like a very pissed version of Ifrit or something like that. He hoped this was not going to be like the last time. He had nearly gotten over it now. Ryu had been so angry. Mako had that effect on the guy. He got pissed off as hell every time he had a treatment.

It wasn't a secret among the SOLDIER's that Ryu didn't like pain. He hated pain so much he'd kill to avoid it. And he hated those who inflicted pain on him even more violently. The last time Ryu had gotten a treatment... He had gotten into some kind of frenzy. He had mutilated several of the assistants in the lab and nearly killed Hojo (Zack almost wished that he had managed it), and not even Roka had been able to calm him down. Then it had been Sephiroth's turn, and... to put it kindly... that hadn't gone all too well either.

Zack was scared shitless right now, but there could be heard no crashes or anything. The silence in the waiting area was eerie, almost suffocating, and he wished someone would make a noise, just so he wouldn't have to endure it anymore. Bear was sleeping beside him, but even he didn't snore. It was as if the world wanted it to be all silent.

The kid sat down beside him, slightly nervous. "What's going on?" he whispered, his voice trembling slightly. "Why're everyone so nervous?"

Zack smiled and patted the spiky head. This earned him a glare. "You want me to explain, kiddo?"

Just then the kid understood who he was talking to. He scrambled up to do a salute, but Zack stopped him. "Now's not the right time for formalities. I'll give you a briefing on what's going on."

He waited for a reply, getting a nod, he decided to continue: "we have a friend called Ryu. Currently, he's in there," he pointed at the door leading to Hojo's labs, "recieving mako-treatment. Usually, it doesn't take this long for him to get out, and the last time he was in there for such a long time, he flipped. Seriously. He went fucking ballistic on our pretty little asses. Right, Seph?"

Sephiroth merely nodded and continued his pacing. He had kept it up for hours now. Zack glanced at the kid who was watching him intently by now. He decided not to let his awed audience down and continued to tell his story. Or rather, the story of the day when Ryu went completely loco. "You see, Ryu hates pain. And Mako-treatment is fairly painful. And mako also has different effects on different people. See where I'm headed?"

Spiky, as Zack had silently dubbed him, nodded.

"Good. Now, while I get insanely tired and doze off for the rest of the day, Ryu goes into a frenzy which you will never see the likes of. It's completely bonechilling, bloodcurdling and insanely scary. Seriously. So the last time he went in there and stayed this long... He nearly even managed to kill Seph over there." He pointed to the General.

Cloud loked at Sephiroth with something akin to horror in his eyes and turned to Zack again. "B-but... T-that's like... Impossible!"

Zack shook his head. "Nope, he took him by surprise. It was scary as hell, ya know."

Right when he finished his sentence, there was a low scratching noise coming from inside the door. Sephiroth halted his pacing, Zack straightened up and listened, Roka stopped her fidgeting and Bear sat up, wide awake.

The scratching was creepy but it didn't sound like the sound was made from claws. Over the sound of the scratching, though, they could make out a human cough. Or a wheeze, they weren't entirely sure.

Sephiroth seemed to be the first to recover from his shock and moved swiftly over to the door, wrenching it open. The sight that met their eyes made their blood freeze in their veins and the hairs stand on end at the back of their necks, and it made Cloud faint.

On the ground, covered in makoburns and blood, reaching out a hand, face distorted in agony, lay Ryu.

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**A/N: **_Mwahahahaha! Cliff-hanger! Hahaha!_

_Okay, I'm done now._

_Ryu: You did that on purpose, didn't you._

_But of course, my dear muse. _

_Ryu: Hm, I knew it. You're evil. I hate you. –stalks off into the darkness-_

_Hey, Ryu, wait, don't abandon me! _

_Errr... That's right. Please review! That way, Ryu will probably stick around longer. I hope. If he doesn't kill me first. _

_I hope you guys don't hate me right now, flames will be used to warm my beautiful backside in the winter cold, and I will answer every review I get. Promise._

_I would like to inform you that any errors in here are my own fault, this is the un-beta'ed version. When my dear Omni is done betaing the beta'ed version will be posted pronto. Logically enough._

_Until next time_

_Ja, ne!_

_Beatrisu._


	6. Hurt

**Disclaimer: **_Same old shit, I don't own nothing, not at all.. Okay, I own a cell phone and the DoC game and a couple of old worn out books... yeah..._

**A/N: **_Here it is, the long awaited chapter! This one is dedicated to my beloved Bobolac who is an amazing writer and simply wonderful and I love her to death for curing my writers block in the most interesting way imaginable. We had fun, didn't we? There's a treat for ya here, girl, so look for it and ya'll find it._

**Warning: **_Yaoi, swearing, angst, the usual. Ya know... Oh, and someone gets drugged... There's also a lot of grief for the characters we all love and know here... Poor thingies. And if you don't like character death, don't read it, cause... Well, simply put, there'll be one, but that's an original one. Not in this chapter, though. Don't you worry. Also, Sephiroth in this story is NOT out of character, whatever you may believe. I just write my version of him, the way I see him. So don't come complaining to me._

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**Chapter six: **_Hurt_

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Ryu was unconcious. His face, normally so full of life, was still and white where his head rested atop the soft pillows. His long hair was gathered into a braid, and his body, at least what Zack could see of it, was wrapped up in gauze and bandages. The sterilizer that could be smelled on the air, the tubes up his nose and the dramatic bleeping of the heartmonitor just made it all the more terrifying and real.

Zack was sitting in a chair by the infirmary bed, watching over his best mate as he was silently struggling for his right to live. It felt unreal, it felt wrong, and it made him depressed. Believe it or not, Zack was moping. And he was not happy about it either.

He was jolted out of his thoughts by the ringing of his cell phone. He picked it up and looked at the display. Tseng. He pressed the green button and held it up to his ear while making his way out of the room, as if him talking on the phone would disturb the recovery of the currently comatose man lying on the bed.

"Speak quickly, I'm watching over him right now."

Zack could hear Tseng breathe on the other end. Then, finally: "how is he?" He sounded tentative. As if he didn't really want to know. Zack sighed.

"We don't know if he will live. It was pretty ugly... No, wait, I'm lying. It was downright terrifying... I have never seen him look that bad before." He honestly hadn't. Not even terrible explosions or heavy artillery had been able to fell him. It had nearly made everyone believe he was invincible, but then came that day. It was a week ago now.

A week had passed, a whole, fucking week and he hadn't as much as twitched an eyebrow or anything! Even Sephiroth was worried and subdued. Not that he was overly excuberant any other day, he just seemed more on edge lately. Roka was downright devastated and had to be tranquilized in order to get rest. They had to pry his hands from her vice-like grip even as she slept.

They finished the conversation quickly. Tseng informed him that he'd have to expect visitors quite soon. Tseng would come by along with someone else. He didn't mention who.

Zack had also had the honor of meeting the two youngest brothers of the Uzuki family. Tetsuya and Tasuki, the twins. They came to visit as often as they could, watching their older brother with huge eyes, filled with hope. Now they had become more subdued as well, the hope silently fleeing as their beloved older brother did not wake. The only positive thing with it all was that Zack could see that blond more often, seeing as he was a friend of the twins and would come along to support them. He had even started coming in without them to see how Ryu was doing. He found him to be an interesting person and would love to introduce him to Ryu, as soon as he would wake up, of course. He had been standing in the hallway, pondering, when suddenly, he caught a noise from Ryu's room.

The heartmonitor had ceased its steady bleeping. Now it was simply one drawnout, high-frequented noise coming from it, and Zack knew all to well the meaning of this. His friend's heart had stopped beating. He stood staring in through the window of the hallway in shock as doctors and nurses ran to the place, carrying with them supplies to start CPR. Zack turned and bolted.

He ran as fast as he could, lungs burning, tears streaming, until he ran straight into the chest of one John "Bear" Atkins. Bear was a young and strikingly handsome fellow. He had short, sun-touched hair, big amber-colored eyes and a grin that could make many hearts break. He was also huge. Impossibly huge. Broad and tall and handsome. And he was holding Zack at arm's length, staring intently into his eyes and saying something.

"Zack, man, what's up?" was what Zack heard when he finally managed to catch a voice synching to the lips' movement. He shook his head. Bear's eyebrows furrowed.

"What is going on, tell me right fucking quick, Zack!" His deep voice was stern, almost angry. Zack noted with half a mind that his voice was remotely like Cloud's, in a way.

Bear sighed and shook him. Zack's eyes widened. "Ryu is dying!" He screamed this, eyes wide with fear.

Bear arched a delicate eyebrow and looked at Zack, questioningly. "I think we already established that fact a week ago, Zack," he grumbled and put the distraught Colonel down.

Zack shook his head, "no, Bear, you don't understand, his heart stopped beating!"

Bear's eyes widened and he took off towards the infirmary, calling over his shoulder for Zack to notify the general, Roka and other people Ryu might find remotely interesting.

Zack resumed his running. Thankfully, the next person he ran headlong into was the General himself. He looked up at him, face streaked with tears, and at Sephiroth's confused expression, he started bawling like a baby. Almost.

"Hey, hey! Zack! What's up with you?" Sephiroth said, taking hold of his second-in-command's shoulders and shaking him slightly. Zack sobbed uncontrollably and wiped a hand furiously across his eyes, trying to dry away his tears and failing miserably.

After a little while, having clung to Sephiroth like a little child, he looked up at his friend and said, in a choked whisper: "I t-think that Ryu... I think he d-died!"

The change in Sephiroth's appearance was startling. His features suddenly looked drawn as his face drained of all color. "W-what did you just say..?" he asked in a quiet voice, trembling slightly.

"I answered a phonecall from a friend of his that I've been in touch with... And... And... When I was done... The bleeping... It turned into a single, longdrawn beep, and all the nurses and doctors ran around, and I panicked, and I don't know what to do, he's dead, he's my best friend and he's fucking dead!!! I'm going to KILL HOJO!!! THAT FUCKING ASSHOLE!!!!" Zack's voice started out trembling and confused and ended in a furious roar as he struggled against the hold Sephiroth had on him. Sephiroth, on the other hand, was afraid to let him go, fearing he would do something extremely stupid. Like go and kill the head of the Science Department.

"Look at me, Zack." Calm, collected.

"I am going to MUTILATE that FUCKFACE so BAD!!! He's not going to be RECOGNIZABLE!!" There was one very good way to dicern when Zackary Jaden Andrews was angry, and that was when his voice alternated between screaming and talking calmly. The way his fists pounded furiously into Sephiroth's ribcage might have been an indicator as well. He had never seen his friend this angry before, and honestly, it scared him. He was used to Ryu and Roka throwing fits. Bear never got angry, just annoyed, Sephiroth would get furious from time to time, but Zack was the ever-present, smiling funny guy, who did all he could to make his friends happy.

"Zack, look at me." Sephiroth tried again, ignoring the pain as a fist connected visiously with his side, and he could feel a rib crack.

Zack glared up at Sephiroth, as if this was all his fault. "What do you WANT?!" Zack was very obviously pissed off. Sephiroth tried his best not to wince.

"I want you to take me down to the infirmary. Roka and Bear are probably there already. We have to be there for him, get that? We've got to show him our support, we have to force him to live, damnit!"

This had Zack gaping. Silently, he took the General's hand and led him to the elevator. In his own agitated state he had taken to the stairs, running off some steam as he was panicking. Now, he had been calmed down a bit and left slightly shell-shocked.

Zack was walking as if he was a machine. Sephiroth shook his head. 'Change that, he's positively catatonic.'

"Hey, Zack..." He tried while Zack was leading him into the elevator.

"Zack...!" He tried again to no avail.

And then, all of a sudden, Zack fell to the floor in a dead faint. Sephiroth knelt down beside him while mentally rolling his eyes. He proceeded to shake his friend awake.

He managed it just when the elevator dinged open on the infirmary floor, Zack bolted upright and ran all the way down to Ryu's room, where people had started gathering in their worry for the major who was lying inside. He pressed through and barged into the room where Ryu's friends were gathered, mainly Roka, who was sobbing into Bear's chest. The latter was looking at Ryu with a sad expression. The heartmonitor was bleeping again and before he noticed Tseng and the tall guy standing inside, he fainted again.

Sephiroth sighed audibly as he walked into the room. He nodded to the people there, frowned at Tseng and the tall Wutainese man standing beside him and bent to pick up Zack. He lifted him up by the collar and let him hang, dangling, until he woke up.

"Hey, man, put me down..." mumbled the fallen SOLDIER, while glaring pointedly at Sephiroth.

"Wha? Didn't catch it, dude. You're waaay to unclear for me. Ya know." Sephiroth deadpanned. Zack, along with the other occupants of the room stared at him, eyebrows reaching their hairlines.

Sephiroth didn't appear even slightly bothered by this and was soon talking in his own, monotone voice: "And what if you decide to fall down to the floor in faint like a blushing maiden having a guy hit on her for the first time?"

"I am not a blushing maiden!" Zack said, glaring.

"But you do not deny the fainting. Good, Zackary."

Zack's gaze landed on Ryu on the bed. He was still. Breathing, but still. It seemed he was alive, but... He wasn't. Or he was, but he wasn't. Zack's mind did not make sense right now. He sighed as Sephiroth easily lowered him to the floor, and, ignoring the two Wutainese men, he walked over to the bed. He sat down beside it, on the chair, and took hold of his friend's hand. He was cold. Very cold. While Zack knew for a fact that Ryu had cold hands, they had never been this cold before. It frightened him. He sort of felt sad for the last words he had said to his friend, while he knew that Ryu had known that he hadn't meant to call him that, and it was all done in friendly banter, he felt guilty for not hugging him and telling him how much he loved him and that he needed his help to get in that blond kid's pants and... He could feel his eyes stinging in unshed tears just as the door opened and said blond entered. The _click_ that sounded as the door closed made them all flow down and he found himself sobbing wildly and unable to control it.

He closed his eyes and felt the pain that went through his body, wracked his brain, so to speak... He couldn't go on alone. Not without his partner in crime. He remember the time Ryu and he had put chocobo-dung in Sephiroth's boots once they were drunk off their asses and Sephiroth was passed out on the floor. The thought made him laugh a little in between the heartwrenching sobs and he found himself going hysterical.

-

Sephiroth was watching this with growing concern. Ryu was so still, it was somehow... Unnatural. Zack was holding his hand, sobbing miserably, and he was unable to respond to his obvious need for comfort. The blond kid was standing by the door, looking sadly at Ryu, Tseng was silently convercing with the other Wutainese man in said language...He had thought that Tseng was adopted into Midgar and didn't speak the language. Odd. Bear was comforting Roka as best he could while trying to seem like the cliff he was to all of them, but Sephiroth could easily see him crack apart from the inside. He had known a long while that Bear had feelings for Ryu that went beyond platonic, so to speak.

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Tseng was talking to the tall man standing beside him, sending worried glances at his brother now and then.

"Do you think he will live?" He said, voice laced heavily with worry and supressed tears. The man standing beside him nodded grimly.

"He has to, or I'm gonna kill him." The voice was cold and clear, deep and warm, gentle and hard at the same time. He was worried too, obviously. If the look in his eyes was any indication.

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Cloud, on the other hand, walked over to Zack and patted the back of the distraught man. He obviously needed comfort. Suddenly, he had 200 pounds of sobbing and sniffling SOLDIER in his arms. He stared down in shock at the guy who had flung his arms around him, sobbing out miserably and patted his back mechanically. Which left Sephiroth worrying for the poor kid's sanity as well.

Suddenly there was a gasp from Roka, who bounded over to the bedside, looking down at Ryu. All heads turned and the sight that met them put relieved smiles on their faces.

Ryu had opened his eyes and was staring confusedly around. Suddenly his face scrunched up and he groaned in pain. Making a grumbling sound he tried to wriggle around, which had Zack scrambling for the door within seconds.

"Nurse?" He called. When he got a nurse's attention, he asked for a load of heavy drugs to be brought as quick as fucking possible, not caring in the least for their shocked faces at his swearing. He said that if they didn't want the hospital wing in ruins, they'd have them there pronto.

At the affirming nod, he slipped back inside and went to hug Bear. He looked like he needed it.

Holding Bear tight, he looked around the room, seeming to notice people for the first time. In that corner by the bed with a man that looked like... Huh?

"Is that...?" He said, looking at Tseng, gesturing in the tall guy's direction.

Tseng nodded. "It is." He seemed relieved to see that Ryu was actually alive and awake, if not in pain.

Before they had the opportunity to talk more and the stranger could introduce himself, the nurse arrived with medicine. A bottle of morphine. She filled a syringe to the brim and stuck it in Ryu's foot. He was currently lying, ramrod straight, trying not to feel the pain. His brain was fogged and cloudy, he thought Roka was holding his hand... Suddenly everything was a lot better as he felt good, yet slightly inebriated. Why was his dad standing in the corner with Tseng? He had to warn him. The guy was a dead murderer after all.

"Tseng..." he moaned out.

Tseng moved closer and took Ryu's unoccupied hand. "Yes, what is it..?" He questioned in a soft voice, as if he was talking to his little nephew.

"Tseng... Dad... He... he's standing... Right there... Behind you... you've... You have ta... Ger 'im... Outta here..." He groaned in pain again, obviously not happy with being hurt. But it was feeling a little better now. Why was he here again?

Tseng laughed. Why was he laughing? Then dad came closer and... Oh no! He was coming for him! He was going to kill him too!

"NOO! Dad... Please, I'm not ready to die, please... Please... Just go away!" It started in a scream and drowned down to sobbing. This made the man stop, and... Wait... Dad used to be shorter and he used to have longer hair. And he had blue eyes, not grey... Why had dad suddenly gotten grey contacts and a haircut and grown several inches taller?

"Daaaad...?" He droned out, obviously drugged beyond imagining. Sephiroth ogled Ryu, then he ogled the tall Wutainese man, then he ogled Ryu again for safety before he finally turned his eyes towards the Wutainese guy again with a questioning look. He definitely looked a lot like Ryu. Nearly identical, in fact. And while he was at it, he noticed that Tseng looked a lot like him too.

"Are you...?"

The Wutainese man smiled in understanding and shook his head. "No, I am not. Our father is... Deceased."

Sephiroth's eyes widened a fraction, but before he got the time to speak, Ryu was gabbling again.

"Sephy...?" He called in a singsong voice. It made Sephiroth gulp.

"Why're ya talkin' ta tha' guy... Hmmmm...?"

"Because I feel like it, and I do whatever I feel like. I might someday feel like firing you, and that's okay, because I'm your boss... How're you feeling?" Sephiroth said in a concerned voice.

"I'm fiiiiine... Ooooh... butterflies!" He yanked his hands loose and started clapping in front of his face.

Bear walked over to the bed and leaned over his friend to touch his forehead, checking for a fever, when suddenly, he was yanked down on top of him and Ryu was kissing him.

The kiss was hot, it was passionate, it was deep and it made him grow hard, and obviously... Ryu felt the same way. He deepened it and pulled Bear closer, holding him in a vice-like grip, as tight as he could in his weakened state.

Bear, for all he was worth, tried to get free, but somehow, when that velvety tongue slipped into his mouth, he didn't want to. Ryu was kissing HIM! His brain threatened to shortcircuit then and there. And when the hands started roaming... All he could do was moan and grip Ryu tighter..Until he (albeit reluctantly) managed to tear himself away.

Every person in the room was too shocked to say anything. The tension reached a higher peak when Roka stood abrubptly and fled the room. It must've been devastating for her to watch that... Exchange...between her boyfriend through ten years and her best friend.

"Bear... Why'd you back off, hm...?" Ryu drawled lazily.

"You're drugged. You aren't thinking straight," was Bear's soft rely, "besides, Roka is your girlfriend and she loves you... What you did right now was wrong..."

Ryu frowned. Then suddenly the tall Wutainese guy caught his attention again. "If y'aren't my father, then who tha fuck are ya...?" He sounded slightly irked.

The man rolled his eys as if the question was ridiculous. "When you can't even recognize your own twin, you really ARE too far gone, Ryu!"

Ryu's eyes widened and he scrambled backwards into an upright position. The other people in the room winced, that must have been painful... If he had felt it at all. "Tomo...?"

Tomohiro nodded and smiled. "Yes, I'm here now. You don't have to worry anymore."

Ryu frowned. "But what if they getcha? I don' want tha'!"

Tomohiro looked at Tseng, confused, and asked his brother to explain.

"Ryu has this irrational fear that Hojo will get us and kill us all for being his brothers if we are found out." Tseng said, smiling. Ryu was so sweet at times.

"It isn't irrational!!! Hojo said tha'd he'd start with the youngest and kill me last and that he knew who my family was and that he'd kill us all and torture us..." Ryu looked positively indignant.

Sephiroth quirked an eyebrow and ushered Cloud and Bear out of the room. "I think it's best if there aren't so many of us here," he explained. Then he turned to Ryu. "Did he really say that?"

Ryu looked down, ashamed. "I... don't know. I can't remember much of what happened..."

Sephiroth nodded. "As I thought. Now, we just want you to rest and get well, we'll talk about it when you feel better, okay?"

Ryu nodded. Then he looked at Zack, who was standing by his bed, looking sad. "Zaaack... Don't look so sad... You're pretty when you smile!"

He was still drugged, obviously.

Zack nodded and sniffed a little, wiping at his eyes, trying to clear away the tears that were running. "It's just that... I was so worried about you... you scared me fucking shitless!" He was crying openly again, sobbing in anger.

Tseng walked over to him holding out a handkerchief. Then he turned to his older brothers. "We were all worried. Especially Tomohiro and myself. You've been holding this family together for years, Ryu. To have you die now would be useless."

Ryu scoffed and looked away, then he said: "go 'way, 'm tired..."

Tomo sighed and decided that he would stay the night to watch over his twin and make sure that he would stay well and stable. He wasn't a doctor, by any means, but... He had missed Ryu. He could feel the connection they had again, and it felt good. In fact, it felt great.

As Sephiroth and Zack hugged Ryu and moved out, Tseng and he settled down to keep watch over their now sleeping brother. Just like the old days.

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**A/N: **_Okay... So now I'm done with this brute here... –pats chapter lovingly- _

_Anyone who wants to give me reviews, go right ahead. Ryu'll give you a hug. –grin- Hope ya'll enjoyed it!_

_Please, those of you who read it, review. It feeds my ego and makes my muses happy and working._

_Hope this fulfilled your needs when it comes down to the suspence, Bobo-chan!_

_Until next_

_-Bea _


	7. Compassion

**Disclaimer: **_No, I do not own Final Fantasy VII or Kingdom Hearts characters. I do however, own Tseng's brothers and various other OC's. So there. _

**Warning: **_There is a lemon. I told you guys this was YAOI. It is not overly detailed, as I tend to want to keep it within the rating, but consider yourselves warned. I will **not** take kindly to homophobes who review and tell me that "Oh no! Horrible! Yaoi! ZOMG!" **THIS IS A WARNING! THERE IS YAOI AND A LEMON IN HERE!** _

**Pre-chapter Note: **_Thanks for the reviews! I love them and they all make my day. This chapter is dedicated to my human muse and fellow author; Bobolac, so if you don't know her, go read her stories THIS INSTANT! Especially Musings of a Redhead! Fantastic!_

_Flames will, as always, be used to keep my Norwegian ass warm during these cold winter days, seeing as it's freeeeezing outside. _

_On with the story._

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**Chapter Seven:** _Compassion._

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Tseng was sitting with Tomohiro beside their brother's bedside. He had fallen into a fitful sleep, filled with nightmares, and when they got too horrible, he'd make a whimpering noise, sad and frightened, which prompted the two men seated at the bedside to take his hands in theirs and stroke gently, soothing him back into restfulness.

Not many words were spoken between them. There was this silent understanding. An understanding only siblings who are close can have between them. Tomohiro would occasionally reach out and stroke some of his twin's long strands out of his face. He watched his face lovingly, stroking his forhead lightly, then he would proceed to murmur soft words of comfort. He knew that Ryu hated pain worse than anything else. He knew him so well, yet... He felt that maybe he didn't know him well enough anyway. Letting out a soft sigh, he leaned back in his chair.

Tseng watched him out of the corner of his eye. It had been so very long since he had seen Tomohiro last, and they didn't talk all that often either. Sometimes he wondered why they called themselves a family. It was clearly a dysfunctional one. He used to rant to Rufus about that, his dysfunctional family. Keisuke, the model who was always high on some form of drug or the other, Riku, the innocent and beautiful older brother still in Wutai. Kenichi, the doctor and shrewd mind. Tomohiro, the ever distant, aloof and cold brother, who seemingly did not care, but who still held his brothers close to his heart and would defend them feverishly if need be.

He rubbed his temple, eyes closing slightly. He was a little tired, and he could feel a headache sneaking up on the fringes of his mind. He had let Rude take over some of the responsibility he held as second in command, seeing as he liked to sit in silence with his older brother at Ryu's bedside. He used to say that someone had to watch over the SOLDIER. He was the obvious choice, seeing as he was a friend of his anyway.

He let out a low chuckle. Friend. Some friend he had been. Some brother. Looking down at his twined hands he sighed softly. Why couldn't he just wake up? He had been like this for the last couple of days now. Sometimes, Zack would come in to ask how he felt. Roka hadn't been there to see him since that insident with Bear, and things were looking rather hopeless at the moment. He sometimes wondered if Ryu would ever wake up again at all.

Tomohiro stood up, stretching slightly. "I am going for some coffee. Shall I bring something back for you, brother?"

Tseng shook his head silently, not looking up. He could feel Tomo's hand on his shoulder a little while before his older brother left the room, closing the door silently behind him. He gazed up at Ryu once, silently watching him. Thoughtful.

Ryu stirred in his sleep, but then fell silent again, one hand resting on his abdomen, where they had found a vicious looking cut, the other lying curled at his side, fist clenched lightly.

Absentmindedly, he fished out the latest report handed to him and began reading. It was some dull rant about taking out a storehouse used by druglords in the slum. There had been sightings of monsters, but none had appeared. They had cleaned out the building and taken the drugs in to use as evidence. Not very interesting. The druglords using this particular storehouse were some of the biggest and most difficult ones to catch. Mainly people like Wier and Scrye. Two of the most evasive and reclusive druglords there were. They had never really been sighted. It was also rumored that Scrye liked to have assasins. Not that he'd seen any evidence of that lately. Nope. None at all.

He sighed, putting the report back down. Leaning forward, he eyed his brother warily. Still no noise. He hadn't seen him like this since that time so long ago when their father had lashed out particularily nastily one night when he had come back from a raid with the other Samurai. Their mother was out on a mission and Ryu was an easy victim, apparently. The thirteen year old boy had been out cold for days after that particular fall down the stairs. When asked, their father would explain it away by saying that Ryu had _stumbled_. Tseng snorted. Stumbled. Right. He knew his father was sadistic. That he didn't like his sons all too well. Well, not _all_ of them, anyway. He had been quite benign with Tseng, Tomohiro and Kenichi, seeing as they were the ones who were very intelligent. He'd also had a special liking to the youngest twins, even though they hadn't lived too long when their parents died.

Sighing again, he eyed his cell phone. He wondered idly if there would be any calls for him today when the door opened again and Tomohiro re-entered.

The older man slid to his knees in front of Tseng, looking up at him kindly. "I have to go, little brother. I am terribly sorry for leaving you alone, but there is some emergency at work with a band who's cd is to be released in the morning, and I have to fly back to Wutai in order to talk to the administrative crew. I am so sorry for the short notice..." He reached out and tugged him in for a short hug, stroking his back gently. Tseng only sat apathetically by, not doing anything, not responding, no nothing. Releasing him with a sad glance, Tomo stood up again and kissed his cheek, sliding gracefully and silently out of the room.

Tseng sighed and went back to watching.

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A week later and Tseng was still watching. He looked haggard and worn, and at the times he actually showed up to work, the other TURKs would send him silent, sad glances. Pitying. So there was no need to explain that he'd just chosen to sit with his brother some more.

The door slid open and closed again, a nurse walking over to the silent form on the bed, checking his IV-drip, then his vitals. She looked at Tseng, but had long since given up on telling him to get rest.

A week, Tseng thought. A week has passed and he still hasn't woken up. He used to be so bloody vibrant. Can't he see that I worry? Can't he see that I'm torn apart by the pain and weight of my guilt? It's _my_ fault that you're lying here, Ryu. _My fault. _I'm guilty, angry and sad and I pity myself because it's _my_ fault. And I don't even know why. I don't know _why_ I blame myself. I just know that... That it's my fault.

He looked at the clock hanging high on the wall opposite him. He chuckled. Ten PM. Wow. Two hours and a new day would begin, and he would worry more as the time passed. He really felt helpless. There was _nothing_ he could do, and he was so damned _frustrated_. He just... He just wanted to escape, to run away from all the fucking pain and hurt. He wanted to get lost, to just... He wanted to feel something else.

Suddenly, he rose up and started walking. He opened the door and walked out, past Sephiroth, who was probably on his way to see Ryu, not even greeting him as he walked by. He didn't want to see him, didn't want to see anyone, so when he suddenly found himself outside Rufus' private quarters, he wondered what he was really doing there.

Absentmindedly, he lifted his hand to knock, not even bothering to think of whether Rufus would be sleeping. Probably not, though. It wasn't _that_ late after all. Rufus was an insomniac. So he knocked.

When the door opened, he just barreled into Rufus' arms, nearly knocking the younger and taller man over, sobbing sorely into his chest. Rufus stared down at the top of his head for a small moment, shocked, before he closed the door and wrapped his arms around him, making soft noises of comfort.

Tseng could feel the warmth of the younger man, and looked up at his face. He hadn't really paid any mind to the fact that tears were running down his face, or that he had probably shaken the blond by appearing like this, without notice. Maybe he was busy? He didn't care. He just pulled the younger man down for a slow, gentle kiss, pressing firmer against him as he could feel the Vice President returning his affections. Mindlessly, or seemingly so, he slid his tongue across the younger man's lips, begging entrance. It was granted, and the moment their tongues twined together in a slow, soft dance of love and passion, Tseng knew he was right where he needed to be. Ryu would come to no matter if he was there or not.

Moaning softly into the shorter man's mouth, Rufus manouvered them into the bedroom. Slowly, but securely, he started to unbutton Tseng's shirt, removing his tie and flinging his jacket haphazzardly to the floor. He could feel that the other man needed this. He needed to feel loved and cherished, he needed to feel grounded, and he needed it physically. So when Tseng undressed him, he didn't question him. He didn't question him as he pushed him to the bed, and he didn't question it when the darker man's lips enveloped his hard cock in a slick embrace. He just moaned and enjoyed it.

Tseng licked lightly at the slit, sucking gently at the head, eliciting soft moans from his lover. He needed this, and he knew that Rufus needed it as much. At least, they both needed the same release. It had been a long time since the last time they had sex, made love, fucked or whatever you chose to call it. They needed it. _Needed_ each other, the way they would need air or water to stay alive.

As he slid the hard length in and out of his mouth, sucking, nipping and licking on the way, he couldn't help but marvel at how good and unmistakably right it felt. To lie there like this and pleasure his lover.

Rufus on the other hand, had lost himself completely to the ministrations of the darkhaired man, the beauty, worshipping his cock. He moaned softly as he twined his hands in that long, silken hair. He could feel his release drawing closer, and whimpered in protest as the darkhaired man slid him out. He soon forgot that little moment of discomfort, though, as he could feel an oilslickened finger sliding into him. He moaned hoarsely as Tseng claimed his lips in a rough kiss, drawing his tongue in for a battle of dominance, which he knew he had already lost.

As Tseng slid the third finger inside him, he was beyond thinking. He was reduced to a whimpering, moaning, writhing pile of long and graceful limbs. He could register someone begging, but did not recognize the voice as his own, he was far too lost in the haze of pleasure clouding his mind. He could feel the long, slender fingers sliding out of him, and he whimpered softly at the loss, when suddenly, he saw Tseng's face looming just above his own, asking him something. He had to focus, and caught the words: "...you ready?" Then Tseng slid slightly lower within his line of vision, and he could feel something large, hard, pulsing and slick prod his entrance. He nodded slowly, his own cock aching with need.

Tseng penetrated him slowly, careful so as not to cause him unnecessary discomfort, and all he could do was gasp at the tight heat surrounding him. The tight heat that was solely Rufus Shinra. He let out a low groan, feeling himself teeter closer to the edge, yet still able to stop himself from tumbling over. Slowly, he reached a hand down to stroke the hard length, leaking precum onto his slender hand. He could feel the pulse throbbing, and he knew that Rufus was oh, so close. As he got a silent nod from his lover, he started sliding out only to thrust slowly and gently back into that slick, hot heat, setting a slow and loving pace.

As their passion rose and their moans grew louder, their pace quickened into a desperate and harsh search for release, Tseng was pounding roughly into Rufus as the blond moaned and pushed back, begging for release with his movements and soft sounds of passion. Tseng stroked him in turn with his own thrusts, which were growing steadily more erratic and hard, as he could feel his orgasm drawing closer and closer, yet still a little out of reach.

When the blond finally came, clenching tight around him, screaming his name brokenly as he spilled his seed between them, Tseng let go and felt his own orgasm overwhelm him. Stars were blurring his vision as he spilled inside the blond beauty beneath him, and he claimed his lips in a deep kiss, moaning and panting with the tremendously overwhelming sensations.

They collapsed in a tangled heap on the bed, both panting harshly, breath calming slowly as their hearts beat strong and steadily in their chests, and their hands twined together as they kissed slowly, launguidly, as if they had all the time in the world. All the time in the world, time they could spend on each other.

There was no need for words as Tseng pulled out of him gently, curling up next to him on the bed, not minding the soiled sheets. Rufus simply gathered him into his arms and held him tight as they both drifted off to sleep, tangled in each other's arms for the remainder of the night.

---

"Reno..."

No answer. Rude frowned as the rookie continued to scribble on a piece of notepaper.

"Reno..!"

Still no answer. The rookie continued his scribbling.

-BONK!- "Reno!"

The redhead groaned as a large fist connected with the top of his head, succesfully smashing his face into the notepad and breaking his concentration.

He growled.

"Rude, I was, for once in my life, trying to write a report! I can't afford to get fired, or I won't have the means to make sure my little brother is safe and sound and out of harm's way!"

Rude rolled his eyes and simply held out the file he had come to deliver. "Our new assignment. I thought you might like to take a look at the case before we head out. Might get dangerous, so I'd advice you to concentrate. Tseng considered you to be ready for it now. So. Get to it!"

Reno snatched the file from the larger man's grip and opened it. He made a face at the horrid content. "What _is_ this? Some psycho homocide case?"

Rude sighed. "Serial killer. In Gongaga. We're heading over there as soon as we can. We do _not_ know the exact timing yet, just that it's urgent and we have to do it within the two days following this. According to the reports, he takes young females, mostly around 10 or 11, rapes them, tortures them and then kills them. He's reported to have kept the victims until the bodies start to rot, raping them again after their deaths. So that adds Necrophilia to the charges. Nasty bugger, if you ask me."

Reno arched an eyebrow, then swallowed hard. This sounded harsh. Just the thought made him want to blow chunks, and he felt like he could use a drink. This was too horrible. Much too horrible. Think that, to rape little kids. He shuddered. The mere _thought_ of that happening to Axel, the thought of it _coming close_ to happening to his little bro', it was just too mindblowing. He felt truly sorry for the parents who had to suffer such bereavement.

He nodded to his partner as a sign that he had understood and turned towards his desk, splaying the entire contents of the file across the table top. He frowned. There were obvious signs of torture, yes, and the whole picture of their deaths made it seem like some sort of sadistic ritual. Like some sort of horrible, sadistic and terribly vicious ritual. He furrowed his brow, thinking. This wasn't good. He'd have to hand Axel over to his friend's family for safekeeping. He'd have someone to play with there. And he wouldn't have to worry.

He sighed and scratches his head with the tip of his EMR. How the _Hell_ had he managed to get himself into this mess? Alright, fine, he'd been one of Wier's test bunnies, and he'd gotten into a lot of trouble on the streets as a prostitute, and he could _vaguely_ remember Tseng meeting him on a corner once, and he'd tried to make the Wutainese man pick him up... But that hadn't worked. And then the guy had showed up with Rude when he was sober, for once, and he'd been scared shitless. So they had made him join the TURKs. He snorted. The irony of it all. Shaking his head, he went back to writing the report, putting the contents of the file away for later surveilance. He'd read it before he went home. Yes. That was a good plan.

---

Zack looked at his friend Ryu as the large man had trouble breathing. It was one of those nightmares again. He was afraid that the large fighter wouldn't survive, that he'd die and break everyone's hearts, because they all were rather fond of him and his eccentric, often crude and harsh ways.

He watched as that broad chest rose and sank in a steady rythm. His breath was shallow, but they were all thankful that he was breathing. It had been a mistake to send him in. Hojo shouldn't have been allowed to continue his insane torture of SOLDIERs and other random specimens. Usually, the random specimen suffered more than the SOLDIERs. He found himself wondering _why_. Why had Hojo decided to pull this latest trick on Ryu? Oh, Zack _knew_ that the scientist hated the Wutainese SOLDIER for some odd reason. Maybe because he'd killed so many assistants in the past. Ryu had always apologized, though, and he had truly regreted the kills. He hated killing.

Zack smiled fondly. He cared for this guy. One of his best friends. Maybe even the best. He concidered the General to be a pretty good friend, but they weren't as _close_ as Ryu and him. Ryu wasn't as _aloof_ or as _cold_ as the silverhaired beauty. He was down to earth, natural and kindhearted, and he _always, _without exception, had a smile ready on the wait, for some friend who needed to be cheered up. Even when he himself was feeling down.

Zack studied his shoes for a moment. It felt wrong that his friend should be suffering like that. That he should be out cold. That he should be in a fucking _coma_. He wanted to remove the pain and the suffering from the world. Toss it out the window along with all the cruel and horrid people out there. He sighed deeply and closed his eyes. Ryu wouldn't wake up anyway.

A few moments later, the rustling of sheets snapped him into wakefulness. Zack jumped from his sprawled position on the chair as his gaze snapped to Ryu's hand. It was twitching. His gaze travelled along the large, heavily muscled body to rest at the beautiful face that was attached to it. He let out a loud gasp as slate grey eyes tinged with mako green glanced back at him.

With relief and shock, Zack fell to the floor in a dead faint.

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**A/N:** _Hookay. So this was the next installment.Again, I'm so so so sorry for the slow update, but I've been dealing with some nasty shit goin' on. And busy roleplaying with my friendo, Bobolac. :grins: We have amazing times._

_So anywheeze, review to your heart's content and keep on being my faithful and patient readers, even though I might sometimes be late in updating! Much love and hugs and cookies to all!!!_

_Beatrisu_


	8. Interlude: Darkness and Hope

**Disclaimer: **_Me no own, you no sue._

**Warning: **_Yaoi, disturbing themes. Mentioned child abuse._

**Side notes ((IMPORTANT)): **_Yes, there are KH characters in here. They are all children, and will only be appearing in this chapter and the next. The little girl, however... Is a different story. Now, I know it might be confusing, but you'll see. The next chapter will be longer, I promise._

_Also, YEAH!!! IT'S ALIVE:does happy dance: I'm so sorry that I have been absent and not updating, but inspiration has been evading me... :bummed look: _

_And now I bet you all want to know what happens next, ne?_

_So here we go, from your ever revered Beatrisu-chan... (OR maybe not)_

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**Chapter eight: **_Interlude – Darkness and hope_

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It was starting to darken outside, but inside the school gym where the girls' basketball team was practicing, it was warm and the light was shining. There were 15 girls present, all around the age of 10-11 years and all speaking in elated and happy voices about the practice that night. They'd had fun. Well, all girls were chatting, except from one. She had never been particularily popular. She had six friends, or so, and those were also the only ones she trusted, except from her older brothers. By the other children, especially the girls, she was concidered a nuicanse, freakish, because she often showed up at school in too big clothes and bruises covering her arms, maybe her face... But her father seldom hit her in the face. He knew what an uproar that would cause. Mostly, she disliked the pain between her legs, but she had gotten used to that by now.

The trainer, a tall blonde by the name of Larxene, mostly nicknamed Lark by her friends and family, clapped her hands for silence. All attention turned to her.

"As you may know, there have been disappearances. Mostly young girls of your age. I want you all to stay in groups or pairs, and I want you to be cautious. Do _not_ under _any_ circumstances, talk to strange men or women, no matter how nice they may look, you hear? I don't want to lose anyone from my team." She smiled and winked at the little bruised girl. "Not a single one of you. So, next practice is scheduled for Tuesday, be there at 4 PM sharp, or you'll have to do extra laps! Got it?"

There were vague sounds of complaints and some cheers as the trainer dismissed them. The little girl knew that she would be walking alone. She always did. Unless, of course, her friends decided to come by and walk her home. However, Demyx was busy studying, Xemnas had to attend dinner with his family, and Zexion, being Zexion, was asleep. As always.

With a sigh and slumped shoulders she went out the door. She followed at some distance behind one of the other girls, keeping an eye on her environment. Not that she'd mind if they took her, it probably wouldn't be that much different from what she usually experienced at home, anyway. Still, she had promised her cousin, Zack, to stay safe while he was away and safe she would stay. She never enjoyed breaking promises. It hurt her as much as it hurt those she lied to, because she firmly believed that breaking promises was equal to lying.

The alleyways were dark and a little scary. Those were her thoughts as she wandered the streets of Gongaga. What if there were monsters, or murderers or ghosts hiding there? What if the boogeyman was hiding somewhere near her, just waiting to devour her? That was what her daddy, Jeff had said, anyway. He said that the boogeyman hated and ate filthy little halfbreeds like herself every day. That she would never be more than that adulterous whore's daughter. She surely wasn't his daughter. He kept telling her that every day. It hurt her slightly, stung, in a way she wasn't quite sure that she would be able to explain. Then again, would a father really do... She froze and halted in her thoughts, looking around. The girl in front of her had stopped as well, and was now staring fixatedly into an alleyway.

The little girl stared as a hand came out of the alleyway, reaching for the girl. Her name was Mika, she thought, but she wasn't quite sure. She hid behind a nearby crate, but was too afraid to keep from watching. A body soon followed the arm, and in the dim twilight darkening into night, she could make out a tall man, very handsome and neat, smiling kindly at th girl. His hair was long and blond and he kind of resembled Xemnas' older brother Vexen (though much older, of course... Vexen was eleven) in a way she didn't quite like.

Mika just kept looking, and the little girl just wanted to scream for her to get away, run, because she had seen her lying in a ditch somewhere, covered in blood, halfway rotted, but then again, that would make her seem like more of a freak, wouldn't it? She didn't want them to make fun of her anymore. She wanted to make more friends, she wanted to be accepted, and with such abilities as that, she would _never_ be accepted, not ever... At least she had her friends. At least she had them.

Her lip trembled and eyes teared up as she saw Mika smile and take the stranger's hand, following him back into the alleyway. The little girl slumped against the crates, curling up into a sobbing ball on the ground when she heard her scream. Then there was only silence.

---

Tseng yawned and stretched, feeling his muscles ache and complain as he sat up into the cool night air, leaving the warmth of the body nestled beside him in the blankets. The form gave a grunting complaint and reached out, blindly, trying to find something warm to tug at, something to grip. He found only air. Tseng had left the bed and tugged on a pair of boxers and was standing by the window.

"Come back to bed, Tseng," sounded the soft voice, groggy and muffled by pillows.

The TURK simply frowned and kept staring into the distance, as if searching for something he did not quite know the identity of yet. He bit softly at his lower lip, finding it bruised from the earlier activities he had engaged in and winced slightly at the bitter taste of blood.

"You bit my lip, Rufus. It's bleeding." His voice was a soft murmur, not quite so loud, but clearly heard as a sleeptousled blond sat up in the bed, upper body covered in small bruises and lovebites. Tseng sent him a glance over his shoulder, a soft smile tugging at the corner of his lips.

Rufus sighed, rubbing at his temples. "Is that what is troubling you, Tseng? Is that the reason why you don't want to come back to bed with me?" He sounded slightly exasperated, slightly desperate, beneath that cool, detatched tone.

Tseng was silent for a moment. "...No, it isn't... I'm merely bothered by dreams, you see..."

Rufus frowned as the black haired man turned to face the window once more. "Dreams? Nightmares?" He implored, worry edging it's way across his face.

Tseng's face took on a slightly pained expression before he quickly smoothed it out again, taking on his ever calm and cool appearance. He gave a slight shrug in reply.

There sounded a frustrated sigh from the bed, followed by the rustling of sheets as Rufus flopped back down into the blankets. "How can you expect me to understand you and be patient if you don't even want to _talk_ about what bothers you? I want to _understand_, Tseng. I want to know everything about you. _Everything_! I am not here for the sex, or because I simply find you attractive, I actually _care_!"

Tseng chuckled. The sound was bitter and foreign to the blond's ears. "You care? Those are big words coming from _you_, Rufus..." He closed his eyes and bit his lip. Again he was slightly surprised by the taste of blood, the slow flow from an open cut oozing as he bit down a bit harder. He found himself enjoying the taste.

There was a rustling of sheets and then silence, only accompanied by the occasional whisper of a breath from the blond boy. Though Tseng surmised he could be called a man now, especially with their previous activities in mind. He let out a soft sigh and made his way over to the bed, placing himself back down upon it, drawing Rufus into his arms, spooning up behind him.

"I'm sorry, Rufus... I didn't mean to be so harsh towards you..." He could feel the gentle warmth of tears on soft skin as he moved his hand up to stroke his cheek gently. Rufus' eyes where shut tight and he didn't make a sound, even if he was obviously hurting. Tseng moved forward, placing soft kisses all over his face and jaw, moving down to nip gently at his neck. This, in turn, elicited a soft moan from his companion, even if it was given reluctantly.

They exchanged caresses and kisses for a while, their movements slowly becoming more urgent, more heated as their passion grew. Rufus was surprisingly dominant, pressing him down into the matress to have his way with him, and when they finished, both tumbling down into vast, pleasant darkness with their release, they collapsed onto the matress in a sweaty, sticky tangle of limbs, gasping for air.

Tseng smoothed away a strand of blond hair from Rufus' forehead and kissed it gently, smiling slightly at him with a fond, gentle look in his eyes, and Rufus planted a soft, loving kiss on his lips.

The words that followed were soft, nearly inaudible, spoken with sincerity.

"I love you..."

And they were answered in a soft murmur before they both fell into a peaceful sleep.

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**A/N: **_It was kinda short but I sort of liked it, and it was necessary for my plotline to develop more easily. I have been having troubles with this fic, as it is my most beloved one, my little baby, and also the fic that I am **intending** to finish... It was needed, trust me._

_Now, I would ask you to kindly review, just to feed my ego and keep me inspired! You know you want more! _

_And about the KH characters showing up... It was necessary for the eventual sequel. You will see._

_And the big question: Will Tseng ever tell Rufus about is past?_

_---_

_Beatrisu_

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	9. Dreams

**Disclaimer: **_Me no own, you no sue._

**Warnings: **_Nothing other than the usual, really. If you've come this far in reading, not much more should bother you._

**Statements: **_Spur of the moment... And I've decided to just dedicate this whole baby to Bobolac, just because she's amazing. If you haven't read her story, **"Musings of a Redhead"**, you should go and do so right now. SHOO!_

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**Chapter nine: **_Dreams_

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He could vaguely feel hands holding his hair back, fingers ghosting across his temples, gently, softly, as he vomited his guts out into the bucket standing at his bedside. Mako poisoning! Joy! Oh, he just _loved_ the green, goopy stuff, it was absolutely_ delicious_! Was that Sephiroth sending him strange looks? He sent a fearsome glare in his direction and flopped back onto the hospital bed, not really bothering with the world. Through the green haze clouding his eyes he could make out Zack, holding a glass of water under his nose, urging him to drink. He sat up with a groan and decided that: yes, he was thirsty and he had this absolutely horrible taste in his mouth. Yum yum, the taste of Mako and bl- what, blood?

"Why do I taste blood in my mouth..?" He asked, voice hoarse and raw after his retching session.

Zack smiled sadly. "You've been vomiting blood for a while, Ryu... I frankly don't believe it's healthy, so I advice you to stop this instant."

Ryu rolled his eyes and took a sip of water, rolling the liquid around in his mouth before spitting it out into the bucket. He then drank a large sip and lay back down on the bed. "How long was I out?" he questioned, voice no more than a soft whisper as he felt strength slipping out of his grasp once more. His eyelids were getting heavy and he just wanted to sleep, and why where these bastards keeping him awake, anyway?

There was the soft sound of someone clearing their throat. Ryu couldn't really see anything, but he wasn't surprised to hear the General's soft voice speaking to him from just beside his bed. "You were out for about two weeks and you woke up last night. Your condition is getting better, but I am not allowing you to go back to work for a while. You'll have to take another vacation, my friend. However, our first priority is to get your Mako poisoning under control."

Ryu made a soft grunt of agreement, just to show that he had _heard_ what he said, before he drifted slowly into blissful sleep again.

--

_He was walking through a dim hallway. There were large ornamented windows on each side of the room, and each showed different periods of his childhood and early adolescense. He stopped by the largest windows, exatly at the hallway's center and looked out upon the scene. It showed himself and a young Tseng, sitting amiably side by side under a large cherry tree, the pink sakura flowers falling gently around them._

_Tseng was approximately six years of age, he guessed. It was not long after their parents had died, and the little boy was chattering on about how much he missed his teddybear. Ryu would utter soft affirmative noises to show he was listening, and a sad expression flickered across his handsome features. They were both wearing traditional robes, or what could also be known as a hakama and gi, showing their status in the hierarchy of Wutai. They were young nobles, and the adult Ryu glancing through the window could feel his heart constrict slightly as he remembered. He wondered if Tseng remembered as well._

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_Fourteen years ago..._

"Ryu?" The soft, childish voice of one Tseng Uzuki could be heard as the child looked up at his older brother.

The teen nodded, his long, thick braid shifting it's position on his shoulder. "Mmm?"

"Where is mother and father? I want to see them." The child pouted indignantly up at him, as if he had taken their parents away and hidden them. He could feel the guilt tugging at his heart.

He sighed softly. "They... They won't be able to visit us here, Tseng." His voice was quiet and firm, words laced with slight sadness and warmth.

Tseng frowned cutely, his wide, grey eyes locking with his own in a demanding manner, as if the older boy knew all the answers.

"Why not?"

It was a simple question, yet Ryu did not know if he could answer it. He caught a falling sakura in his hand, putting the small, pink flower down on his lap, the soft colour contrasting with the stark black of his ornamented hakama.

The child tugged at his gi, eyes burning fiercely with demand. He wanted an answer, obviously.

Ryu smiled softly, reaching out to caress his mind softly with his own. Tseng merely pouted. "Stop it, Ryu. It tickles my brain."

Ryu laughed at that and gathered a small hand into his own, larger ones, slender pianist's fingers curling gently around the little fist.

He smiled gently, sadly. "Tseng... You will know in time, when you are older. Right now, there is no use in fighting me for it. I can't tell you anyway."

"But I want to _know_!" The little boy had a firm will and wouldn't be relenting until he learned the truth.

A soft chuckle could be heard as a tall figure, exactly identical to Ryu, came walking across the soft grass towards them, daintily placing his feet so as not to ruin the smal, pink flowers covering the ground.

Tseng glared at them both. "Tomo!" He ran towards the younger of the twins and attached himself to the boy's waist. The twins exchanged a bemused glance and spoke a few soft words to each other, not opening their mouths even once, not uttering a sound. For such was the gift or curse of the Masaki branch of the family. They had slight telepathic abilities, which could be a hassle at times. And the bond between twins was a strong, firm bond.

Tomo patted the little boy's head gently, smoothing back a few wayward strands of black hair. Tseng reached up and tugged at his long braid, falling over the opposite shoulder from Ryu's. That was one of the few ways to tell them apart. They would braid their hair in different angles to separate themselves, to make it easier for others to approach them. Yet, when alone, they could easily be mistaken for each other. Such was their curse and their gift.

Tseng looked up at him. "Tomohiro... Why can't I see mother and father? I want to_ see_ them! I miss them!"

Tomo leaned down to place a soft kiss on the top of his head, smiling gently as his twin stood to join them. They gathered the boy in between themselves and hugged him gently, stroking his cheeks and his back, soothing him as he cried softly. Tseng had always been a very emotional child, and he was distressed now that he could not go to his mother with his problems.

They sat down upon the ground, gathering the little boy in between themselves, arms slung around each other loosely. Tseng snuggled closer to them with soft, sad sobs.

When Ryu spoke, his two companions were slightly surprised.

"Tseng... I want you to remember that our parents are watching us just now. They are in a better place now, and even though we can't see them, they are always with us, guarding us and the Planet along with the rest of the spirits in the Lifestream."

His voice had been quiet and gentle, and at times like this, his twin understood. He _understood_ how intelligent his brother was, even if he failed to show it most times.

---

_He sadly watched that particular memory fade. It was one of his fonder ones. Ryu had talked about it with Tseng and they had sat in a comfortable silence for a long time _afterwards_. He felt a bittersweet ache in the pit of his stomach as the hallway of memories faded and he drifted slowly into wakefulness._

--

Tseng smiled softly as his brother woke. "Good morning, Sunshine."

Ryu creaked one eye open and grunted before turning around to rest on his other side. Tseng watched with a slightly twisted fascination as Ryu's lower body didn't follow his movements. His feet didn't even twitch.

"Can you feel your legs?" His question was silent, slightly apprehensive.

Ryu shrugged. "Yeah... I can feel them, they just don't cooperate with me. It's like I've got these burning needles just under my skin and they're pricking their way out. Mildly uncomfortable, to tell you the truth."

Tseng nodded silently in understanding and sat down in the chair by his bedside.

"Who told you that I was awake?" A silent question, soft and innocent.

"Zack."

"I see... It's a good thing he knows. I think Sephiroth knows as well, but I doubt that he will tell anyone." Ryu twisted around to rest on his back, obviously uncomfortable with facing the wall, and honestly, with the way his body was twisted, Tseng could understand him.

"It is... I don't like keeping secrets. I've been planning on telling my lover, and that is why I'm here, really." Tseng looked at his brother's face. He seemed tired and hollow, and it was clear that he hadn't eaten much, as his facial features were slightly sunken and drawn.

Ryu sent him a dull glance. He wasn't capable of much more than that. He was exhausted and tired. "Okay... And you've come to tell me who this lover is, I assume?"

Tseng nodded. "Yes... Though I am surprised that you haven't ransacked my conciousness already."

Ryu chuckled dryly. "It's because it tickles your brain, Tseng."

Tseng smiled. "Mmm... I see, that. Well... I asume you want to know?"

Ryu gave a nod of affirmation, seeing as his throat was slightly dry and his tongue felt thick.

"Rufus Shinra."

The soft confession made Ryu's eyes widen, but then he calmed himself down and nodded in acceptance. Tseng's soft sigh of relief was the only thing that could be heard for a while.

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**A/N: **_Okay, so I might've promised more and this chapter might not have turned out the way it was supposed to, but I like it anyway. Hope you guys are pleased, dear readers!_

_And I've seen that there have been over 518 readers here... Wow, that's friggin' huge, but... I'd have liked it if ya'll bothered to review. It makes me a lot happier._

_Until next time! _

_Bea_


	10. Jealous

**Disclaimer: **_You should know the drill by now. Although I would love to own these characters, I sadly to not and so I hope that you will not sue me, even if I use them for my own amusement, and hopefully: yours. _

**Warning: **_Normal things. Yaoi, slightly angsty and sarcastic Zack, masturbation... The normal stuff. _

**Notes: **_Yay! Zack mused me! He decided to hop into my head and tickle my brain so I could write, and it annoyed me a little, since I was trying to sleep and it was six o'clock in the morning. I have proof-read it and hopefully found all my errors, and now it is time for your enjoyment. Arrow and Black belong to me, though. As does Ryu. I love him._

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**Chapter ten: **_Jealous._

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"Zack, you're jealous. Get over it."

The voice was raspy and weary, yet warm and soothing at the same time.

Zack merely burrowed his head further into his arms, resting on top of the neatly cleaned sheets of the hospital bed his friend was currently resting in. He gave a halfhearted shrug and muttered a muffled reply. This had said friend furrowing his brow in confusion. "Say that again, please. I didn't quite catch it."

Zack looked up at his bedridden brother in arms and sighed heavily. "I don't _understand_! He gifts Seph with all his attention and makes me feel like a fool for even thinking of him in the wrong, or _queer_ way!" The spiky-haired SOLDIER looked up at his companion with something resembling a pout on his face.

Ryu merely patted his head in understanding. With a reassuring smile he folded his arms behind his head and looked up at the ceiling. His voice came as a raspy, rather hoarse form of utter disappointment to the despairing Zack. "Sephiroth is his god, sort of. Everyone adores him, I mean, the guy is more or less unreachable. We all like what's unreachable and unattainable, don't we?"

Zack pouted heavily and nestled back into the safety of his own arms. "I _know_ that! It's just... It really gets to me, you know? Almost feel like Seph's stealing something from me, and he's like my best friend. Why can't Cloud notice _me_? I mean..." He cut himself off, his muffled voice having grown weaker with every word. He let out a heavy sigh and nuzzled the covers on Ryu's bed.

Another soft pat on his head, this time followed by silence. Zack had come in earlier and started ranting about Cloud to Ryu, who was still ill from severe mako poisoning and just barely starting to recover. He knew that the Wutainese man didn't need it, but... He just needed someone who _understood_! And with all the shit Ryu had been forced through lately, he would. Zack knew. He _had_ to understand.

Okay, so maybe it hadn't been completely right of him to come here and rant, Ryu was worried enough about his brother as it was. Tseng had left for Gongaga with Reno earlier that day to investigate further on the disappearances of young girls and also their newly discovered, mangled bodies. Zack was busy praising every deity he knew the name of at the moment, that he hadn't become a TURK. They had to deal with all the heavy shit, like assassination, druglords, threats... Spying... Suchlike. Not that being a SOLDIER was a fucking dance on fucking roses, but... He didn't complain, seeing all the shit the TURKs had to deal with.

Looking up, he saw that Ryu was fast asleep. He wasn't a heavy sleeper, that guy, but Zack knew, that at times like these, times when he was severely exhausted, he could sleep through an earthquake. So the spiky-haired youth stood up and made his way to the door so his friend could get his share of the sleep Zack had been keeping him securely away from.

If the guy wasn't thoroughly fed up with him now, he would be surprised. Very surprised.

So Zack made his way to the office, determined to fight his way through another heavy stack of paperwork that Sephiroth just couldn't bring himself to do, all the way bitching and moaning internally at himself for being such a sucker over a certain blond, spiky-haired boy by the name of Cloud Strife. He could already _feel_ the headache looming over him like a bad omen. Wonderful, just fucking terrific. Now he had to deal with Sephiroth _and _a headache. His day couldn't possibly get any worse than this.

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A few hours later he ate his words, having them leave a bitter aftertaste in his mouth. Oh yes, the TURKs had decided to call in for back up. Zack was to go, and Sephiroth was the one to decide which cadet he'd be bringing with him. Fucking joyous. Not only did he have to deal with the General in a pissy mood, disturbing phonecalls from Hojo's lab about new mako treatments and a ton of paperwork, he also had to recieve a disturbing phonecall from none other than Tseng himself, who was by now claiming that they needed a little more bodily force in this.

Zack nearly banged his head on his desktop. He would have, had it not been cluttered with random stuffs normally found in offices. Like staplers. He did _not_ need a stapler mark on his forehead at this moment in time.

Why in all hells was he the one to be chosen to go back to Gongaga? He _couldn't_! Or, as Sephiroth was currently ranting about, he was too much of a coward to face the consequences of running off to become a SOLDIER. Maybe that was it, though, he mused as he moved to toss a heavy object at the wall. Maybe he was simply too scared to face the wrath of his parents and other relatives. Though he did wonder how his little cousin was. He hoped by all deities that she still lived with his parents, or if she didn't, that her father was treating her nicely. Because if the man _wasn't_ treating her appropriately, he would strangle him to death and leave him to rot in the desert.

With a heavy sigh, he caved in to his desires and let his head thump down onto the top of his desk. He _hated_ the idea of doing this. And what if Sephiroth chose _Cloud _to join him? What would he do _then_?

"Don't worry, Zackary. It won't _kill_ you to spend some time alone with the boy."

Zack's eyes widened. That cold, matter-of-fact tone belonged to none other than his boss himself, the General Sephiroth. Wonderful.

"How do you know that?" He spoke through gritted teeth to his current object of irritation. Normally, Zack was a tolerant guy, a real nice guy who loved almost anybody. However, when his best friend got more attention from his current love interest, he stopped being Mr. Nice Guy. He was so jealous he thought he could puke his guts out all over that cocky bastard. Oh, how he hated him!

Sephiroth gave a low, monotone chuckle. "I know so because I see the way he secretly looks at you. I think the reason he hangs around me is because he worships me as a hero. Quite frankly, I'm more than willing to pass that adoration onto you. I have my mind set on something, or rather, someone else at the moment."

Zack's eyebrows arched up high. That was the most the other man had spoken to him in one go for a _long_ time. A _very _long time.

"He looks at me?" He couldn't help but sound intrigued, though, as he glanced up at Sephiroth, irritation replaced by curiosity.

The silverhaired general merely gave a curt nod before making his way back into his office, shutting the door soundly from within. If he listened, he could probably hear the lock click shut as well. So Sephiroth didn't want to be disturbed. Goodie. That meant he could get o-

"And no leaving the vicinity of this office until you're done with the paperwork!" Muffled by the door, yet oh, so clear and demanding. Another dull day of mindnumbingly boring paperwork to look forward to. Zack could feel himself overcome with glee.

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Slipping into his own apartment at night proved to be difficult. There was mess _everywhere_ on the floor, causing him to trip and fall flat on his face several times over before he even managed to shut the door properly. Then there was the fact that his electricity had been cut off for repairs earlier that day, so he only had the light of the barely glowing moon to go by.

As he battled his way towards his bedroom, he couldn't help but think of Cloud. The boy was enticing, he was perfection, he was... Simply put: Sexy enough to eat and never grow tired of the taste. Zack wanted him with every fibre of his body, and had sworn to himself that he would get him. Now all he needed was a little help from his partner in crime, Ryu, and all would be set. He hoped.

He battled with the door to his bedroom and tried to make his way inside. He sighed deeply with defeat when he understood that he'd have to clean the place up if it was ever going to be livable again. His friends always complained that it was a bio-hazzard, and by now, he deeply and thoroughly agreed with them. He hated being a messy kind of person, but he couldn't keep his attention on things! It wasn't _his_ fault!

When he finally was able to locate the bed he was exhausted. Thankfully, tomorrow was his day off, so he would be able to get the sleep he needed. He quickly discarded his clothes and slipped under the surprisingly clean covers. It felt good to rest in his bed again. With Ryu in the infirmary, he had spent most of his time there. Even fallen asleep a couple of times. The rest of his time had been spent in the office or on the training grounds. He'd managed to fall asleep on both places several times over.

Now, he was nestled nicely in his bed, and he had full intentions of having very naughty dreams of a certain blond boy with brilliant blue eyes. He could feel his body grow heavy as sleep finally overcame him and he nestled deeper into his covers with a contented sigh. This felt good.

Soon, he was sound asleep, dreaming happily away, unaware of the problems stirring up around his young cousin back home in Gongaga.

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The next morning, Zack woke up to a rather unpleasant, throbbing feeling in his lower regions. He'd just gotten to the good part of his dream, too, the part where Cloud was on his knees in front of him, worshipping his cock. And then the phone had to be rude and ring, so he woke up, and now, he had a predicament that desperately needed treatment. Read: Long, cold shower or possibly just jacking off. First of all, he had to answer that annoying ringing object, if he could find it. He dug around at the foot of his bed, since he had no bedside table and was finally able to locate his cell. He flipped it open and pressed it to his ear.

"What." His voice was rather gruff and cracked, clearly showing he had just woken up. The voice on the other end, though, was quite pleasant and soothing, like soft, dark velvet, stroking his mind.

"Zack...?" The voice was masculine, and Zack instantly recognized it.

"Black! What's going on? You don't usually call me..." Zack was more than a little surprised to hear his cousin, Black, on the phone, and was more than willing to listen in to what the older man had to say.

There was a short silence, the other man obviously weighing his words and thinking through his response before answering, "you are needed in Gongaga. There have been problems, and I fear my sister is no longer safe. I can't help her in my condition, so I was wondering if maybe you could come here..?"

It was well known to all family members that Black was fragile. He had poor health and was physically weak after years of poor treatment and constant worry.

Zack frowned slightly. "What's going on?" His voice was filled with suspicion and apprehension, fearing the answer, yet still expecting it.

"Father isn't treating her right. She's had more bruises on her body for the last few weeks than what is usual, and I am, quite frankly, worried. I didn't get to know this by seeing her, but.." he paused for a moment, "..one of her friends came. You know, that young Marsden kid she is so fond of."

Zack nodded mutely before realizing that his cousin couldn't see him. He quickly cleared his throat and thought of an answer. "Oh, yes... Him. What's happened to her, since he's so worried?"

Black let out a heavy sigh and was silent for a moment. Just when Zack was about to ask if he was still there did he finally give a reply, "she witnessed something horrible and hasn't been able to eat or sleep since. That, combined with the abuse our father his putting ehr through has had her exhausted and she can't seem to concentrate at school. Yesterday when they were out together, playing, she collapsed. That was why Xemnas and Demyx came to me. And you know how I am with kids, so I checked on her immediately, and found that their worry was something to be very worried about indeed. It frightened me, Zack, and I don't know what to do."

Zack nodded again, barely able to concentrate on what his cousin was saying as thoughts of Cloud popped into his head once more. He shook his head slightly to clear his thoughts before replying, "listen, Black. I've been contacted by the TURKs, they're in Gongaga right now, as a matter of fact, and they've called back for reinforcements. I will be coming over today or tomorrow with a cadet. In the meantime, I want you to contact one of the TURKs. You know what they look like. Blue suits... One of them isWutainese, the other's got red hair and tattoos on his face..." He trailed off, waiting for his cousin's reply, and also for him to take the hint that he had something else to take care of. Right now.

Black let out a soft laugh, and since he was a very perceptive person, he could understand that Zack had some sort of predicament. "Alright, I'll find them. The redhead was actually there yesterday, fussing over Arrow. He seemed concerned for her, and explained he had a brother her age. I'll go find him, you take care of yourself, alright?"

Zack smiled and said that he would, before he hung up with a polite goodbye and looked down at his groin area. "You can't seem to be put off by anything, can you?"

He sighed and slithered fully back under the covers, relishing the feeling of being able to sleep in a bit.

Though, as he lay thinking, his thoughts returned to one blond boy with the bluest eyes he'd ever seen and the most beautiful smile on this side of the planet. He fantasized about what he'd like to do to him and soon his hand found it's way down beneath the blankets and he wrapped his hand around himself, imagining the hand belonged to him. To Cloud.

He moaned his name as he came, and with a grumble he sat up and quickly got out of bed, cleaning the mess up. He hated jacking off. Why do that when you could get the real thing? Sadly, Zack hadn't gotten laid in over a month, so he was more than a little frustrated at the time.

He looked around at the mess his home was and decided it was a good thing he had his day off, because cleaning would take a _long_ time.

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**Author's corner: **_New chapter, and it's based on Zacky-poo! I hope you liked it, because I enjoyed writing it. And now you must, must, MUST review, please, because I love those little notes so._

_Next chapter we will hopefully see a little more of the TURKs, a little appearance by Arrow should do the trick, and also Zack meets his family and goes on a trip with someone. See you then!_

_Yours truly, the happy authoress: Beatrisu_


	11. Importance

**IMPORTANT! PLEASE READ!**

_**Hello everyone.**_

AS it is, I'm not quite happy with this story. I might be taking it down, either permanently or just for rewriting. If the latter is the case, I'd hope to find some volunteers for beta-reading and whatnot, but please: Tell me what you think.

I've hit over 1000 hits on this nice little think, however, with the amount of hits on each chapter, you'd think I'd get a couple more reviews. I'm not going to _beg_ reviews, I'm just saying it would be nice. Every author likes feedback.

So now, I'm asking you, my readers, to tell me what you think and what kinds of changes you would like. I've got some alternatives.

Take the entire story down, rewrite it, then post.

Rewrite every chapter, then re-post the chapters.

Just delete it.

I'm sorry that there was no real chapter this time. I've just lost my inspiration.

**Sporks for everyone!**

Beatrisu.


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